A LOOK
INTO
THE
FUTURE :
THE
BENIGN
BC IN
2040 AD
.......
.......
.......
Interviewer ( I ) : Hello ladies............just how many members belong to this club ?
Leading lady (LL) : Unfortunately, there's only eight of us left.........in fact we are all sitting here today
I : My God.....what happened to all the rest ?
LL : Well....as you know members of bridge clubs come and go.....but here....at the Benign BC ........it's been " go " for years
I : How come ?
LL : The game's not appealing enough to attract new members......and what male members we had...... we got shut of them all 
I : Why was that ?
LL : Abject failure on their part to adhere to best behaviour at bridge rules, and the strict enforcement of sub-zero tolerance policies. Moreover, we wanted to double the club up as a Women's Institute
I : So is it correct to say that only men behave badly ?
LL : Indeed it is.....they are aggressively arrogant, full of vulgar pomposity, sexist attitudes, who set out to play the game as though it was a matter of life and death 
I : Tell me then.....as a female only club how would you describe yourselves as bridge players ?
LL : Slow......S....L....O....W...
I : You mean pedestrian, gentle paced, languid, sluggish, laid back in your bidding and play of the cards ?
LL : Good Lord no ......S....L...O....W........sweet little old ladies
I : So where have all the men gone to play their bridge ?
LL : Well, many went away to form or join privately owned bridge clubs based on the model of the Slaughter House BC.....which as it happened first originated over the pond in little old England
I : And what model was that ?
LL : The one that was first introduced centuries earlier by Sir Francis Dashwood.....namely the infamous Hell Fire Club......a concept that was successfully resurrected by the utterly vile and notorious  Bigot-Johnson, who transformed the game of bridge into a seriously sick sado-masochistic pastime
I : Sounds like my sort of game
LL : Well on that note.....you can bugger off.......you obnoxious lump of shit !