No.1546

NEWSFLASH:
WORLD'S
SLOWEST
BRIDGE
PLAYER
DIES
AT THE
TABLE
......
......
During a marathon game of rubber bridge Mrs. Ethel Dilly Dalley took over 4 weeks and 3 days cogitating over what lead to make against a doubled redoubled grand slam.......the play of a card she never got round to making.

Towards the end of the longest recorded wait in bidding history one of the emaciated players leaned forward, put in his head into his hands, and said "... my partner's slow play is going to be the death of me ". This rather astute comment immediately elicited a feeble and distraught reply ..." and us  ".    
By this stage all three of the incredibly long suffering players were now losing the will to live, but being so weak and frail in body and mind they were unable to stand up and leave the table. Inevitably as the days rolled on,  each player finally slipped away into a dark and never-ending sleep.

( Footnote : When the bodies were discovered months later, all four hands were still on view. A quick analysis revealed that the grand slam was doomed to fail on any lead !  )