A VERY NEARLY ALMOST TRUE STORY.......( By Bridgemeister Gibson )

Mr. Pott , known to some for his oh-so-sly peeking of opponents' cards , was at it again on a critical last board of a very closely fought intercity league match. With a small slam in spades a racing certainty given the early bidding in the auction , the match could now be won if a grand slam was bid and made. Everything depended on the trump suit behaving,  and breaking no worse than 4-1.
However it was  Mr. Kettle , his LHO opponent , who was up to the task of helping Mr. Pott in his quest. As the bidding entered the slam zone , he inadvertently exposed his hand ( for a fleeting second ) to reveal a 4 card trump suit headed by the 10. Naturally , the sly old peeker seized his opportunity to quickly glance across,   getting the good news he was desperately seeking. Seconds later the grand slam was confidently bid.
Unbeknown to Mr. Pott , his LHO opponent held all five of the missing trumps , but had cleverly concealed one in amongst his clubs. On winning the opening lead , declarer laid down the AKQJ of trumps claiming.....only to discover his RHO showing out on trick 2 ! Realising that a trump trick now had to be conceded,  he gave his Nemesis  the blackest of looks before exploding into an uncontrollable rage.
Placing his sweaty hands around his LHO's neck, he looked straight into Mr. Kettle's fear-stricken eyes , and screamed out a torrent of unwarranted abuse  : " You sir are as black as the devil.... a real nasty piece of work.....a despicable rotter... in fact any half decent club would take a mean , filthy , low-down cheating dog like you outside..... and shot ! "