BIGOT-JOHNSON'S SUPERB GUIDE TO HELPING YOU DECIDE " AM I A CRAP BRIDGE PLAYER ? " 

THE CLASSIC TELL-TALE SIGNS :

- seeing problems where none exist
- failing to see problems which are blatantly obvious
- unable to see the bigger picture 
- selling out too easily in competitive auctions
- allowing numpties to put one across you
- forever making the same mistakes
- a firm believer in magical thinking
- capitulating even under the slightest pressure
- difficulty to recalling what cards have been played
- opponents looking pleased when you arrive at their table
- never being able to keep regular partners
- never being asked for your opinion or advice about a hand
- leaving post mortems on difficult hands confused and bewildered
- seeing novices also prepared to take liberties against you
- unable to work out what went wrong
- hearing raucous laughter in the bar when stories about your bidding and play are being 
  told
- unable to remember the last time anyone asked you to make up a team
- partners regularly phoning in with cancellation apologies
- averages scores well below 50%
- any score above 50% seen as a major triumph
- numerous lapses of concentration as your mind goes on " walkabouts "
- filling up system cards with conventions that are ( a) completely useless , ( b) never
  fully understood, and (c) pose more problems than solutions
- always happier when partner is declarer
- playing in a suit contract on 6-6 fit but allowing an opponent to make his singleton trump