THE BENIGN BC ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY RULES 727-32

727. Under no circumstances whatsoever must a player call an opponent " a filthy low down cheating dog " , even though he/she just happens to be a filthy low down cheating dog.

728 . In the event a player breaks the above rule , requiring a TD to be called over to admonish
his/her most unwelcome slur on a fellow club member , that person must refrain from slagging off the official for failing to deal with the real villain of the piece , namely the cheating opponent.

729. If both the above two rules have been broken , the player concerned must not be seen or heard ranting and raving about the committee after receiving a summons to attend a disciplinary hearing, even though no action at all has been taken against the cheating dog who he felt obliged to chastise and expose. 

730. Should the unfortunate player find himself in breach of the above 3 rules , he must not challenge or contest the severe punishment metered out by the committee , having shown him/herself to be nothing more than a thoroughly foul-mouthed, objectionable psychological bully. 

731. If this obnoxious irritant insists on his/her right to an internal appeal , the blackguard must not berate , criticise or condemn the appeal panel " as useless tossers " especially when they are hand picked to endorse the committee's original decision, keen to deny that the player was a victim of extreme provocation perpetrated by the cheating antics of a rather unsavoury opponent.

732. In effect the club is more than willing to condone the widespread cheating that goes on in the interests of keeping its members happy , but it will not tolerate loud mouthed gits who get so pissed off with it all they fail to keep their emotions in check , or their thoughts strictly private.