NEWSFLASH : BIGOT-JOHNSON GETS SUSPENDED AGAIN

Not for the first time Bigot-Johnson came unstuck when a hurriedly convened disciplinary hearing saw a desperate committee rushing to find him guilty of gross misconduct at the tables. The following exchange which took place resulted in one of the shortest hearings ever to be recorded at the Cardinals BC. 
Chairman ( C) :  You Bigot have received several complaints relating to your behaviour at the Friday night duplicate
B-J :  They'll all be a pack of lies......this club is full of two-faced rats and lying bastards !
C : Well , even if that is your honest opinion .........the fact of the matter is that none of them were lying with respect to what happened at their table when you sat down to play against them
B-J : What.....I never said a bloody word to any of them . I kept all my seething and contemptuous remarks under my breath. Not one word passed my lips. Why on earth would I even bother making remarks to such a lot of wooden tops , pansies and puffs ! 
C : Excuse me , Bigot.....on numerous occasions you insulted your opponents whenever they won the bidding auction.....just by doubling them .....no doubt out of spite and annoyance of being denied opportunities to be the declarer
B-J : So what.....I'm entitled to double contracts.....it's in the rules
C : Yes....but every time you did , your opponents made the contract.....usually with overtricks....only to point out in that the scoring  " 50 needed to be added on for the insult " 
B-J : This is insane...
C : Yes....you insulted your opponents time and time again by doubling makeable contracts...    
...implying of course that they were complete imbeciles , guilty of reckless overbidding ....when in fact the opposite was true
B-J : But doubling makeable contracts can't surely be treated as " insults "
C : The rules say otherwise......and so do we. And on the sheer number of valid complaints sent in by mail ,  the committee have decided to suspend you for 3 months 
B-J : I'm not taking this lying down.....I going to Sue
C :  Sue who ?
B-J : Sue Yeuman.........my mistress......
C : Thank God for that.......I thought you meant something else
B-J : ......before heading off to see my lawyer
C :  Oh bugger