BRIDGE TABLE TALK : WORDS SPOKEN AND WORDS NOT SPOKEN........ ( Article by Carp )

In a bridge world where zero tolerance is the order of the day , and where tact and diplomacy must over-ride any desire to dish out cold facts and hard truths , players may be permitted to say harmless half-truths but to hold back on biting remarks they would dearly like to make. 

So here then are a few classic examples of  

What players feel safe to say.............................and what they would like to tag on  ( but don't )

We need to talk ............................................so I can give you a right dressing down

I'm sorry but I'm not available next week.............or any other week if I can help it

I'm sure we can pair up again sometime.............perhaps when hell freezes over

I'm sorry about my little mistake...........................but boy are you going to suffer for all yours

I really need to find some space outside............somewhere for me to bury your body

I don't really know if that contract could be made..........by a complete and utter moron

What partner , you're keen to make a quick exit.....well , might I suggest off the roof

You weren't that bad tonight partner.......................you were worse than bad

You and me a dream partnership ? ......................For me it's a living hell

Partner I made one massive mistake tonight.......which was pairing up with you

This game is still proving difficult to master..........so God knows what it's like for you

I don't actually recall that particular mistake...........my head is still awash with all the

                                                                                    countless others you made

We all have a bad night now and again.................although in your case it's permanent

                                                                                    state of affairs

There's no need to apologise partner.....................you played as well as any idiot could

Partner, your ability never ceases to amaze me.......or should I say " lack of "

There's no justice in this game.................................otherwise you would have been taken away

                                                                                     and shot

that was a very enjoyable evening partner..............for all those opponents you handed out

                                                                                     gifts to