THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

Top : the missionary position so preferred by English bridge players when in congress with 
         female partners
Unbalanced : the state of mind of members eager and keen to take up posts on the 
         committee
Overtake : a clever manoeuvre by the player who is firmly in the driving seat : this involves
          winning his partner's trick in order to be on lead 
Partner : the player on which all blame for defeat can be placed at his/her door :  an ideal 
           candidate for being the scapegoat , whipping boy , punchbag and/or fall guy 
Frigid : ( a) an alternative term of reference for a contract that can't be beaten , and (b) an
           apt description of a woman who has given up on sex for the pleasure of bridge
To pick up a queen : The sole preoccupation of men who are members of a gay bridge
           club
To shaft an opponent : a callous and ruthless act by a player who comes on very hard and
           strong when up against the weak and helpless 
Down two : ( a ) a statement made by a player when the contract fails by two tricks , and (b) a              statement made by a committee member when a couple of undesirable members have              been booted out of the club , often followed up with the words " three to go ! " 
Consolation Pairs : a bottom tier non-event for all those devastated and distraught players
           who would otherwise go home as abject first day losers ,  but for the opportunity to  
           regain some pride by winning a completely meaningless trophy 
Defensive error : the failure to duck when a flying bridgemate is heading one's way at speed