NEWSFLASH : SOARING MEMBERSHIP NUMBERS AT SLAUGHTER HOUSE BC COMES DOWN TO THE FACT PLAYERS CAN SMOKE WEED WHILE THEY PLAY

The Slaughter House is now the most popular bridge club in the whole of the UK , simply because cannabis smoking has been encouraged and endorsed by Bigot-Johnson and his cronies on the committee.

Following a survey by the Doncaster Gazette , the club was described as a financial success, over-flowing with liquid assets : a little pot of gold in fact. Its Amsterdam-like tolerance to marijuana has brought bridge a much needed and revived popularity , with membership applications out-stripping available seats. However,  despite the club's huge success , news of it has yet to appear in the EBU's website , newsletters and monthly magazines. 
Mustapha Drag , who recently moved to the area from Pakistan , said " I first came to the club to learn the game in order to be in a position to attend private bridge parties with my rotary club friends.  Not surprisingly I couldn't help but notice the rich aromatic smell that drifted through the building. From that moment on I was hooked onto duplicate bridge. Although the committee members and TDs did a lot of stalking around , they clearly didn't give a toss.Since then I , like so many others, turn up to play bridge every night of the week. The bidding of course is hellishly random , and the play of the cards is all over the place. But no one cares about the damn scores , except for the one which is being lit up next. 
The whole bridge experience is mind-blowingly beautiful. There's never any altercations or temper tantrums , with everyone deliriously happy and full of joy. Whenever I look my cute-arsed female partner I see her beam with delight." 
The Gazette reporter himself found the atmosphere totally intoxicating and blissful. So even though there was a huge mix of people of different ages , race and class , the only segregation he noticed was based on perceived levels of psychosis affecting the members.  This phenomenon has now provided local university students with valuable research material for their essays on the " The short and long term consequences of excessive smoking and/or exposure to skunk ". 
On a final note , when the chairman Bigot-Johnson was asked if he could accommodate more members , he admitted with deep regret that he was " completely spaced out ".