EVERYBODY KNOWS ........
( A dirge of a  poem by Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber , which is based upon one of Leonard Cohen's greatest songs.  The theme is a condemnation of the widespread cheating that continues to undermine the beauty , purity and majesty of the game of bridge. )

Everybody knows that the battle's over

Everybody knows the good guys lost

Please someone stop this cheating 

Or we are all going to pay the cost

Everybody knows the results are false

Honesty and integrity exist no more

The bad guys now steal the glory

They know how to rig the score

That‘s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows the cheats are out there     

Everybody knows that they lie in wait

Abusing the rules to gain unfair advantage

Trapping their victims with poisonous bait                                                                                   They use all manner of dodgy signals

To their chosen partners-in-crime

Securing one unjust top after another

Board after board time after time

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows cheats behave badly

Everybody knows that’s what they do

They work so hard at being dishonest

Ah… give or take the odd board or two

Everybody knows they have no scruples

Everybody knows they’re racked with sin                                                                                         For it's the results that matter most

When there are trophies still to win

That’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows the game is poisoned

Everybody knows all hope has gone

The good guys are a fading minority

It’s the cheats who are in full song

Everybody knows the problem’s massive

Too many heads are stuck in the sand

Administrators turning the blind eye

Only rudeness gets a player banned

But that’s how it goes

Everybody knows

Everybody knows the game needs fixing

Everybody knows what needs to change
Banning slow play and  absurd bidding systems 
Getting rid of the cheats so clearly deranged

Everybody knows that bridge is in free fall
Its beauty ravaged , its image in tatters

The problem's so urgent and pressing

Restoring its virtues this is what matters

Everybody knows a revolution is needed

People out there must step up to the plate

Something must be done today or tomorrow

To delay any action it may be too late

But that's how it goes

Everybody knows