YOUR PARTNER 

 ( This wonderful three verse poem by Richard Arkell has been skillfully altered to reflect today's reality in the bizarre world of bridge. Verses 2 and 3 remain true to the original but verses 4 and 5 take the theme a stage further , in an attempt to remind players of the predicament they will find themselves in........ should they choose to partner those with a real attitude. )  


Partner arrives like a man with the flu 
Feeling ill at the prospect of partnering you 
He clearly loathes you from the start
But loves to land you in the cart


His face is grim , his soul is grey
He snorts at every card you play
And if you can't return his lead
He hates you very much indeed


He gets my nerves in such a state
By this relentless look of hate
Upon his thin, unfriendly face....
I always manage to trump his Ace


He's never forgiving and quick to blame
Claims you're a duck , useless and lame
He whinges and whines at every turn
Screaming out loud " don't you ever learn "


On every board you hear his moans
Along with insults full of acid tones
Yet when the agony ends , the future's still bleak
For you've just heard him say.........
" WE'RE DOWN FOR NEXT WEEK ! "