DEFINING HAPPINESS ?..................

Happiness means different things to different people. But in the bizarre world of bridge happiness to a results merchant means only one thing , as I was to discover when I interviewed the infamous chairman of the Slaughter House BC, Howard Bigot-Johnson.

- So Bigot .....let me guess....... happiness for you is getting an above average score ?
- No
- Getting a near top ?
- No
- Getting an outright top, perhaps ?
- No
- Getting a galactic top ?
- Sorry , no
- Getting a top against two top class opponents ?
- No
- So please tell me then....what is happiness for you ?
- Well, if you must know......it is getting a top against opponents I can't stand the sight off
   ...opponents who are renown for being patronising and condescending bastards....tops 
  against these tossers always provide me with immense , overwhelming pleasure .........
  especially when I see their sickening . smug , sneering smiles disappear from their fat ugly 
  faces !