NEWSFLASH : APPALLING INJUSTICE INQUIRY FINDS INJUSTICE  " APPALLING " 

An internal sub-committee inquiry into the shocking injustice of a club member being expelled for moving a bridgemate across the table in an inappropriate way decided a drastic overhaul of the club's disciplinary procedures was called for. Their remit was not to correct the appalling injustice but to hopefully ensure that cruel and heartless injustices like this will never happen again. The sub-committee chairman , Lloyd Whyowhy , said of this shocking tragedy " no way can we have a repeat of this ,  if the club is to avoid costly and crippling law suits ".
Indeed , the inquiry recommended that the following :
1. Disciplinary hearings must allow the accused member to be present in order to defend
    him/her self against all listed charges , details of which adequate notice must be given
2. Internal appeals against any alleged wrongful expulsions must be heard by members who 
    are capable of scrutinising the questionable disciplinary procedures with clinical objectivity   
3. Any perceived injustices which can be labelled as " appalling " must be reported back to 
    the committee as " calamities like this must never occur again .....at least for a while ".
4. The report may also include requests for something to be done or at least for something
    which has the appearance of being done 
5. Table money should be increased by a £1 so as to put aside money to build up slush
     funds to finance legal costs
The inquiry team must draw attention to the fact that their primary duty is act in the best interests of supporting the committee , and never to demand or even suggest any change to their decisions. Their role is merely to identify and label appalling injustices purely as a matter of historical record.