BIGOT-JOHNSON ON BULLYING.........

" We all know that the biggest problem facing any bridge club you today is bullying. Indeed at the Slaughter House BC it's widespread. So if other members tell you that their club has cracked the problem , then they need sorting out somewhere quiet where their screams can't be heard.
In most clubs , except for mine of course ,  the bullying has become less physical and far more psychological. In this modern age a new bullying culture has taken over from giving annoying opponents and inept partners a right good thrashing. Recriminations , accusations , insults , threats , relentless and merciless criticism are all ploys used and adopted by accomplished and serial bullies , who often boast and claim superiority of the finer points of the game.
Mind you ,  should the culprits be the more senior members in the club ,  then giving them the necessary leeway and freedom to behave like beasts seem perfectly acceptable. Committees obviously need to turn a blind eye to their antics rather than risk upsetting these long standing grandees and resident club experts , renown for their short fuses and sharp tongues. 
I do acknowledge this new bullying culture is a problem that needs to be addressed but how ?
Well at my club the answer is simple : find a scapegoat to target and implement ruthlessly effective ZTP initiatives. Instant retributive justice. This way any club committee can claim that the problem of bullying is being tackled , albeit in a controlled way where rampant double standards are maintained and upheld. 
One poor chap at my club was deemed the perfect candidate for being the next scapegoat. He was held responsible for a verbal outburst of highly toxic expletives at a table in play , which required our ZTP officers ( Ronnie and Reggie ) to intervene. Not surprisingly his mouth was immediately washed out with soap before having his head flushed down the toilet. Moreover he was given a wedgie he would never forget. Whether this is on-the-spot interrogation and subsequent implementation of punitive justice was correct who cares ?  But the fact remains that this wretched man willingly confessed to being personally responsible for everything , and was more than willing to take whatever punishment came his way. Nevertheless his confession was hard to discern given that his mouth was pumped full of water at the time .... yet the gist of it was all there.
So there you have it. One guaranteed way to keep psychological bullying under some sort of control. And as for the accusation that this man was pushed all the way down the toilet , this was a wicked lie , stemming from malicious gossip started by his bereaved family. Moreover , he was not " innocent " like so many ignorant . low born , riff raff members of the club claimed. Heavens above if the committee and I started picking on and persecuting the wrong people , then this would surely give our club and bullying a bad name ! "