THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY........ 

• Pre-emptive raise : getting excited even before catching sight of an attractive lady opponent heading your way
• Danger hand : the one that your irate partner delivers from behind to smack your woolly thick head into gear 
• Losing trick count : a negative and pessimistic approach to assessing the trick potential of your hand
• Top of nothing : coming first in a field full of novices and clueless rabbits
• Direction : the flight path chosen by the pilot of a flying bridgemate
• Responsive double : a large whisky consumed during the interval which galvanises a player into staying alert and performing better
• Rectifying the count : being made to calculate the correct number of tricks your side has taken, having previously inflated the total 
• Menace : the term given to a crazed, cavalier and maverick pilot of a flying bridgemate
• Balancing : having to earn countless brownie points from your wife in order to gain essential pass outs for evening and/or weekend bridge
• Top : what an overly demanding player will blow when his/her partner cocks up a bog-standard defence