DECLARER PLAY CRIMES:
- Going off track
- Taking a wrong turn
- Losing direction
- Failing to read the signs
- Gross hesitation and indecision
- Failing too see what other card users are up to
- Negligent card play
- Making decisions without due care and attention
- Meandering all over the place
- Failing to follow basic safety procedures
- Attempting dangerous almost suicidal manoeuvres
- Causing annoyance by proceding too slow
- Failing to recall opponents' bidding
- Forgetting to register what's gone by
- Failing to spot risks and/or hazards
- Not taking in account changing conditions
- Skidding into trouble
- Heading down one-way streets to disaster
- Heading the wrong way down one-way streets
- Carelessly pulling out (the wrong cards)
- Overtaking in situations where it was completely unnecessary
- Breaking down at a crucial junction
The list can be extended as and when necessary, with many blank lines provided at the bottom of each page. However, if any sheet does not have enough room to accommodate all the detail of crimes committed, with all the appropriate board numbers, then one can only presume there must be enough evidence present..... to have your partner charged with gross incompetence. This charge should be brought before the club disciplinary committee. Providing a detailed report is sent in with the crime sheets, the committee will use a penalty point system to compile an overall score. Should the total exceed 100, the guilty player will be obliged to attend classes on a bridge rehabilitation programme............another superb idea of mine. Only on successful completion of this programme would offenders be allowed back onto the roads of duplicate bridge. This in my eyes is the most creative and exciting initiative ever to be introduced into the world of bridge.
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