THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED...............

• Trick : what Bigot-Johnson likes to play on his arch -rival, Percy Pantopod
• Red : the colour a player sees when falling victim to a trick
• Huddle : a small tight circle which overly smug, celebrating bastards get themselves into, in order to draw the attention to themselves regarding their fortuitous win
• Drive out : the main objective of any committee hell bent of ridding the club of its troublesome members
• Etiquette : a completely out-dated and out-moded code of conduct, readily forgotten and abandoned by modern day, win-at-all-costs, players
• Average : the skill level of 98% of all bridge players
• Leap : a punt of a bid which average bridge players tend to take ( in the dark ), being unable to bid games or slams in an expert or scientific way
• Vacant space : what neuro-scientists have discovered inside the heads of most average players