BIGOT'S DESPAIR........ ( Another nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson )

The other night at the Slaughter House Bigot found himself at a table, where the combined ages of his partner and two opponents topped a massive 260 years . Clearly , all three of them were experiencing short-term memory problems.
West at one point set off for the toilet only to lose his balance and fall over. When getting to his feet he looked a little, puzzled.......and asked " Can someone tell me....was I going to the toilet or coming back ? "
Three minutes later it was the turn of North to raise doubts about his mental facilities. " Oh dear....am I declarer in 3NT or on lead defending 3NT ? "
However, it was the superstitious East who took first prize in the imbecile stakes  when ,  after loudly tapping several times on the wooden table for good luck ,  he suddenly stood up and announced : " Excuse me for a second...........but there's someone knocking at the front door wanting to be let in ! "
Bigot by now had buried his face in his hands overwhelmed with despair. What the hell was the world of bridge coming to ?