A vision into the future.......
LAW REPORT : BIGOT-JOHNSON  v SATAN (2034)

( Up before the Court of Purgatory , and the Lord Chief Injustice Brimstone-Fyre ,  Bigot was hell-bent on suing Old Nick himself for breach of contract. A short extract from the trial's transcript might well materialise as follows.

B-J : Do you agree Luci.....I mean Lucifer.....that you and I entered into a contract....or should I say ....pact .......which you have failed to honour

Satan : Perhaps as I'm the devil..... I'm entitled to do such dishonourable acts !

B-J : Not so.....this contract was utterly binding. You agreed that if I handed over my soul ,  you would in return give me knowledge and technique to be a top class bridge player.....all the secrets  on how to cheat and get away with it....and a place in your fiery kingdom , where I could continue to be a total bastard.....

Satan : Yes , I do recall that agreement....

B-J : Well , I did my bit , and although you've delivered on most of your promises, you have reneged on the one that gains me entry to the greatest den of inequity of all time....

Satan : You're right....
B-J : So can you explain to the Lord Chief Injustice why I .....the infamous and corrupt chairman of the Slaughter House BC.....universally reviled as both a player and a blogger.....the scourge of all those who care about the game.......should not be allowed to take his rightful place in hell.......alongside the most evil , mean-spirited villains , reprobates , and wrongdoers the world has even seen ?

Satan : You just don't get it do you ? I am more than willing to let people in who aspire to being The Devil .......but when there is someone like you......whose black heart and black deeds make me look like Mother Teresa........personal pride and envy compels me to lock the door. To do otherwise puts both my throne and crown at risk......and that must never happen. 

B-J :  You're a rotter.... and a spoil sport

Satan : Therefore,  I beg the court not to hand out  the mandatory order you are seeking.......condemning you..... in the process .......to remain isolated and alone in this netherworld of purgatory and mindless boredom

B-J : I demand justice......

LCI : In this court we only dish out injustice.....which means of course your demand for this equitable remedy has been rejected...

B-J : Well , bugger me....

 LCI : Sorry....I would love to oblige.....but as this trial has progressed ,  I have come to loathe and despise you.........immensely......case dismissed !