THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED....................

• Psych(e) : a nasty device used by devious players who adopt a roving commission to supplement their inadequate system card
• Sponsor : a player who craves for success : one who is recognised by his fat wallet , arse-licking behaviour and a grossly inflated view of his modest ability
• Expert : one skilled in the circumvention of the rules
• Plan : a very apt euphemism for  " dithering " , where the random line of play adopted accidentally brings about an unexpected and fortuitous top
• Overbidding : a dangerous disorder affecting players who foolishly believe in their ability to perform miracles on modest hands
• AGMs : events in which committee members are voted in as a consequence of blatant gerrymandering by the few combined with the apathy of the majority
• Partnership understanding : a concept players strive desperately to turn into a reality but without success
• Disciplinary hearing : a so-called formal inquiry , where the planned rubber stamp exercise  is masqueraded as a fair and impartial process 
• Bridge : a dark religion in which many of its disciples remain forever in ignorance of the subtle and infinite understanding required to play the game
• Ranking : the relative ascent up the ladder of achievement which correlates exactly to  what players are prepared to spend on attending green pointed events 
• Steal ( a trick ) : to take a trick off an opponent without revealing the indecent and wilful nature of the act
• Logic : what players claim to have used when a lucky guess pays off , after being complimented by generous opponents