THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED........

• Defence:    what timid players tend to fall back on when unwilling or unable to launch a bidding attack
• Blind faith :  having a firm but misguided belief that a 7S contract can be made when missing the ace of trumps
• Bridge magic : the amazing ability of bringing home a 7S contract when missing the ace of trumps
• Nepotism : the common practice of recruiting family and friends onto a committee in order to consolidate power and eliminate resistance  
• Bridge club : a social and friendly setting which strangely appeals to both anti-social people and social misfits 
• Chairman : a power crazed individual who believes the pestilence of despotism is far far better than the plague of anarchy
• Indecision : the character trait you wish upon your opponents as the key to your success
• Serial psycher : a maverick bidder with a roving commission to do as he/she sees fit 
• Partnership harmony : a phenomenon rarely seen or achieved in the bizarre world of bridge
• Absurdity : a declared line of play which is manifestly inconsistent with one that uses elementary logic and basic counting to achieve success
• Self abasement : a decent and customary practice adopted by most inferior bridge players when apologising to their expert, extremely talented partners
• Social bridge player : a person whose vices and follies make him/her extremely unsociable