THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED......

• Pack : the prevalent mentality of those hell bent on taking control of bridge club affairs
• Deck : the usual place an opponent gets laid on ,  after a table tiff turns nasty
• Eavesdropping : a widespread activity carried out by those determined to gain an unfair advantage , by secretly tuning in to overhear the catalogue of mistakes owned up to by others on nearby or adjoining tables 
• Prune : a highly descriptive term used to describe a wizened old player with a brain of a similar size 
• Bridge convention : devised by players in the hope that their names will live on long after they have departed  
• Friendliness : a concept or character trait alien to players sitting around a bridge table
• Committee : a body of elected individuals charged with high duties and misdemeanours
• Rumour : the perfect device so often employed with a high degree of success by unscrupulous club members ,  who wish to assassinate the good character of another 
• Bridge bore : an extremely annoying and irritating person , who never stops talking to those who never stop wishing that he would drop dead 
• Holding court : the popular pastime of a bridge bore 
• Insult : a derogatory remark next up in degree of enormity to a unwelcome snub or slight
• Discrimination : what takes place inside a bridge club when the particulars noted in one member are declared more objectionable than the same particulars observed in another