DIABLO HAS A GO AT HIS PARTNER........

Diablo ( D ) : Partner, why don't you stick to the system card  ?
Partner ( P ) : I generally do...
D : Then..why on God's earth didn't you open with that hand ?
P : I didn't like the look of it
D : So tell me what does an opening 1NT say on our card ?
P : 12 -14 points
D : And how many HCPs did you have ?
P : 12
D : SO WHY DIDN'T YOU OPEN 1NT ? 
P : I really didn't like the look of it
D : Listen muppet head .....how am I going to have any trust in your bidding if you don't stick to what's on our card ? Should you enter the auction later ,  I'm never going to place you with that number of points.
P : We were vulnerable , and the hand was a filthy 12 count with very little in the way of trick potential. I had QJ.....Qxxx....Kxx... KJx   which in my mind offered sod all. Bolster the hand with 10s , 9s and 8s , with honours in the longer suits and I'm bidding. Point counts don't allow for judgement based on years of experience
D : Please stick to the system card .....
P : But you don't 
D: WHAT !!!
P : Twice tonight you've opened 1NT on 11 points
D:  Partner....that's different .....bidding involves stretching , pushing the boat out and being bold....not being a wimp and taking jaundiced views all the time
P :  Well, in my book......you should practice what you preach... and cut out the hypocrisy 
D : If there's any cutting to be done....then it's going to be your scrawny little neck