GRAVESTONE EPITAPHS FOR BRIDGE PLAYERS........ ( Cemetery research by Pun )

• A timid bidder who finally passed out big time
• Openly spied on committee members but has since gone underground
• Down on his luck and now down for good
• In life he strove hard to be an expert: only in death did he became the finished product
• Always claimed the cards were against him : even his big heart proved not big enough
• Told so many lies at the table, partner refused to believe him when he said he was ill
• Loved to play bridge on the edge, but that extra step was his downfall
• Had a habit of only being half right : thought he was a " dead cert " to make it through to the next round
• His death was caused by an overdose of viagra : his favourite female partner took it very hard indeed
• Took contracts out ( into unmakeable disasters ) , until partner eventually took one out on him