THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY .............

Trump :

(a) someone who talks out of his arse spewing hot air and offensive bile , an
      obnoxious megalomaniac renown for possessing all the vile characteristics of
      an arrogant,  racist, sexist male chauvinist 
(b) an american politician being one who clearly lives up to his name ( see above )
(c) a loud blast
(d) a card from the declared master suit which can beat any other card from the other suits
(e) a form of deceptive foolery often used by bridge players keen to persuade opponents
     into making false assumptions
(f)  a false allegation which an unscrupulous member will concoct and put forward to a 
     committee, in a bold attempt to get someone he/she dislikes thrown out of the club
(g) the name given to the loud stomping sound the elephant makes in the committee
     room in a vain attempt to be seen
(h) a bodily function which bridge players should refrain from doing during play , for fear 
     of embarrassment and/or severe reprimand from over zealous , zero tolerance 
     enforcement officers  

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED................

• Honour : a virtue which all cheats at bridge fail to possess
• Zero tolerance : a glorious opportunity for officious, small minded committee members to strut about the club house like pompous little hitlers
• Ace : a term given to a player who can handle a flying bridgemate with exquisite technique and skill
• Expert : a meaningless almost redundant term given the vast number of club players who profess to be of that calibre
• Masterpoints : a clever, devious scheme designed to suck large sums of money out of players who feel compelled to embark upon a life-long quest to climb up the rankings ladder
• Cheat : a form of low life , a scourge of the game
• Fit : what every highly strung player tends to throw when things don't go according to expectation or plan
• Shape : what most male members are out of given the fact that they spend too much time sitting down to play bridge , when outdoor pursuits would clearly provide a much healthier option 
• AGM : synonym for a farce 
• Minutes : an aptly named document so brief in its content it takes no time at all to write up
• Director : a person renown as much for their knowledge of the rules as their bias towards players of influence and prestige
• Count : what takes place during an altercation when one player knocks another player to the floor
• Splinter : a small piece of wood often found in a head wound after a player has been set upon by his/her irate partner wielding a heavy duty baseball bat 

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.............

• Ace  :   the name given to a crack flying bridgemate pilot
• Fog of uncertainty : what the average bridge player finds himself in at the table
• Psyche : a bid born out of boredom and/or mischief , which is a complete lie
• Post mortem : a wonderful opportunity to transfer the blame for a wretched board onto your innocent partner
• Partner : one of the three opponents you are up against , always the most formidable and unpredictable
• Claim : a time saving device by which declarer can win all the remaining tricks purely on his/her say so 
• No trump sign off : a fall back denomination when two squabbling players can't agree on a suit contract 
• Mistake : a concept which never applies to experts , who of course can only succumb to minor errors of judgement 
• Flair : a term to describe the pure logic experts employ to successfully play out a hand , which is way beyond the comprehension of the amateurs looking on
• TNT : ( i ) an acronym for the total number of tricks ( ii ) what you would like to ignite under the chair of your inept and hapless partner

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED......................

• Calamity :  a painful reminder that incurring 800+ penalty doubles are far more costly than letting the opponents quietly make their vulnerable games
• Bore : a player who loves the sound of his/her voice
• Congratulations : hollow and insincere words of praise offered to the winners by the grief stricken desperately unlucky runners up
• Chairman : a ingenious devil who covers secretly made decisions with the pretence of arriving at them through open discussion and debate during a full committee meeting
• Letter of complaint : an opportunity to knife someone in the back by alleging a wrongdoing which was in fact engineered by the complainant him/herself : an outpouring of venom and hate in writing 
• Accountability : an admirable but missing requirement for those who take up key posts in committee
• Partner : a term associated with being an accomplice to a crime, which usually relates to cheating at the table ( or backing up false allegations outlined in letters of complaint ) 
• Diplomacy : the art of lying to save one's skin by casting the blame elsewhere
• Eavesdropping : an intelligence gathering exercise commonly used by unscrupulous bridge players who seek to profit from any loose table gossip about hands just played
• Folly : turning a resolvable dispute into years of protracted litigation , bitter recriminations and crippling unrecoverable costs , leaving the lawyers as the only beneficiaries of such reckless spending 
• Insult : a cutting remark next in degree of enormity to a slight 
• Experience : the wisdom that enables a player to repeat the same mistake again in the belief that this time the anti-percentage odds will be in his/her favour 
• Applause : stage managed responses to grand announcements made by committee officers at AGMs 
• Defamation : what happens when a member seizes an opportunity to lie about another before issuing an apology , which of course has no chance at all of restoring the victim's reputation
• Consultation : an irritating requirement to include the ordinary members in the decision making process. This involves listening to members' disapproval and concerns before adopting a course of action which has already been decided upon months before 

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY ( DEDICATED TO THE FOLLY OF LITIGATION )

• Kangaroo court :  a custom and practice adopted and revered by bridge club disciplinary committees
• Justice : an elusive outcome when disciplinary hearings take place
• Internal appeal : a second stab at denying an accused member any semblance of justice
• Mediation : an extremely sensible option in resolving a dispute but one which is viewed by committees with suspicion and mistrust
• Hands down : an offer to end a dispute which proves costly to both parties.  Meanwhile the lawyers get extremely well paid for stringing along their clients with false hopes of success
• Victory : a hollow celebration of success when in reality it is Pyrrhic in nature , given the colossal pain , financial loss and suffering incurred in a long and protracted legal battle
• Obscene : a term used to describe the ridiculously large sums of money paid out to lawyers , who then advise their respective clients to make and accept a hands down offer
• Opportunity cost : the sensible , worthwhile and positive things which could have achieved if the money shelled out on legal fees had been spent more wisely, such is the folly of pursuing litigation
• Look before you leap : a well known proverb which parties to a legal dispute have clearly (a) never heard of , or (b) chosen to ignore
• Flying bridgemate : an electronic scoring device which like a flying albatross is an omen of forthcoming misery and doom
• Foresight : it's what we wished we had in hindsight

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED YET AGAIN.......

• Male : a club member of the opposing ,  or should I say , unfairer sex
• Chairman's report : a well crafted document which always reveals the exquisite art of persuading fools to accept that all black things are really white 
• Field : a place where boorish bidders trot out porkies in order to hog the contracts and play
• Bridge club : a venue more in keeping with a pantomime or theatre of the absurd , where men and women desperately seek to upstage one another throughout the entire play
• Aim : what should always be taken prior to the launch of a missile or flying bridgemate
• Table money : a flat-rate payment based on occupation of property : similar in principle to that of the discredited poll tax 
• Disobedience : acts perpetrated by brave and courageous members who refuse to submit to the stifling and crippling demands to behave in a totally passive , compliant and subservient way
• Advice : what every bridge loves to offer another , irrespective of its value , worth or credibility
• Laughter : a natural human instinct totally suppressed and outlawed in bridge clubs where zero tolerance policies have been mercilessly enforced
• Hurry : a notion or concept which is a complete anathema to the legions of slow players that blight this noble game of bridge
• Cock-up : for the majority of players it is an outcome they fear and dread the most , whilst for others it is the best way imaginable to round off an excellent evening of bridge
• Gross misconduct : an offence next up in line ( in degree of enormity ) to a slight. An example of this would be the airborne movement of a bridgemate across the table involving take-off and landing
• Absurdity : the incredulous belief held by numerous players that they can actually play bridge , which is manifestly inconsistent with their results
• Investigation committee : a hand-picked group of people committed to provide evidence and approval for a course of action already decided upon by the chairman
• Mercy : an attribute long lost by those who  with unrelenting ferocity administer and enforce zero tolerance policies
• Apology : a hollow , cunningly contrived  statement , given by an offending player simply to lay down the foundations for a future offence

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED............

• Smugness :  the joyous sensation which arises from heaping misery on an opponent , who has fallen victim on two consecutive boards to your outrageous psychs
• Hatred : a sentiment directed at an unhelpful , pompous , unsympathetic TD
• Numpty : a member of a large breed of rabbits who are oblivious to the fact that they are hopeless at bridge
• Bridge classes : usually run and conducted by those with questionable bridge know-how: a classic example of the blind leading the blind 
• Hand : a singular bony instrument at the end of a player's arm ideally suited for thrusting into the face of an irritating opponent
• Magic : having ended up in a ridiculously overbid contract , this mystical art is employed to help engineer tricks out of nothing , thereby achieving success against all expectations of defeat 
• Psych : a wicked and blatant lie revered by those who slag off their parties for any bidding errors they make ,  no matter how insignificant or small 
• Sponsored pro : hired for his professional expertise he keeps one hand in his client's pocket making sure the other is free during play to thump the table in abject despair
• Injustice : the unfortunate consequence of bidding and playing a contract with divine inspiration and skill , only to register a complete bottom on the board in question
• Self-proclaimed expert : a player so lost in rapturous contemplation of his presumed talents that he is fails to see how others have labelled him  " a numpty "  
• Nose : the extreme outpost of the face most at risk from a dive-bombing attack by the fast approaching flying bridgemate
• Acol : an obsolete and inadequate bidding system for the demands of the modern game but one which is still used in the UK by those renown for their stubborn refusal to embrace new ideas and change
• Nagging : a verbal assault of the ears , the incessant beating of the ear drums, being the irrefutable proof that bridge is not the social and friendly game it is claimed to be
• Disciplinary hearing : a cynical exercise from which the outcome , a foregone conclusion, is the product of closed minds , narrow thinking , baseless pre-judgements and shameless bias

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED........

• Mistake : ( a ) something your partner makes but never you  ( b) choosing to partner someone inferior to yourself  , and ( c )  calling an opponent " a cheat " who happens to have a fearsome temper and a lethal left hook
• Frigid : ( a ) an alternative term of reference to a contract which cannot be beaten if played with even a modicum of skill , or ( b ) an apt description of a woman who claims to be your partner but wont let you anywhere near her
• Cold :  ( a ) an apt description of the shoulder you get when making advances towards a frigid partner, or ( b ) the kind of look you receive from your team-mates when your abysmal scorecard was responsible for losing the match 
• Grand slam : the action taken by an extremely pissed off player when leaving the building in a state of absolute distress , using the door to vent his/her spleen
• Ace : a player renown for piloting a flying bridgemate with genuine expertise , being able to carry out airborne attacks with precision , accuracy and skill 
• Nepotism : the basis on which bridge committees are formed , which involves family members and friends working together to consolidate their power base to the exclusion of all others 
• AGM voters : ordinary members who experience the sacred privilege of voting onto committee the only candidate named on the ballot paper for each particular post or office up for grabs
• Zero tolerance : a god sent philosophy by which those in power , with axes to grind , are given limitless opportunities to sever the scrawny neck of any undesirable member the moment he raises his ugly head about the parapet
• Secretary : an appointed officer with a roving commission to lie
• Minutes : the equivalent of painting a snow covered landscape on a white canvass
• Danger card : one which you quickly regret playing after seeing your enraged partner head off to the kitchen for a sharp knife
• Hesitation : a crude and obvious ploy of taking one's time before making a bid , with the specific aim of giving partner additional information about your hand
• Singleton : having just one card in a suit which you are obliged to hesitate over before playing it , in a blatant attempt to convince the opponents you had others to choose from
• Table talk :  a foolish practice which amounts to aiding and abetting bat-eared cheaters, desperate to secure crucial information about hands they are about to play 
• Off-centre bids :  lies which have not cut their teeth : the arrogant,  undisciplined player's approach to blending part truth with deception
• Bridge : originally intended as a social and friendly game for humans ,  which has now become the battlefield for cheating dogs , predatory sharks , spiteful cats and rampaging hogs
• Overbidding :  the hideous and dangerous practice of winning a competitive auction at any cost , so popular with those reviled for showing off , or being selfish hogs never happy unless they are declarer 
• Shenanigans :  what any self-serving committee gets up to in the pursuit of carrying out their personal agendas , grudges , and vendettas   

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY .........................

Trick :

• a very precious and highly sought after commodity that unscrupulous players will go to any lengths to obtain if it is the one which guarantees a winning score 
• what cunning and crafty players try to put over unwary and gullible opponents , to fool them by employing tactics linked with dark art of deception  
• a mind-blowing manoeuvre  so difficult to execute that only the most talented bridge players have the ability to achieve success in situations where all others have failed 
• a knack or particular skill , such as making your opponents believe the opposite of what is true , to lead them down the proverbial garden path
• to bring about a favourable or surprise result , to achieve something that was seemingly unachievable and completely unexpected
• a missed opportunity to capitalise on an uncharacteristic mistake made by a higher ranking opponent  ( to miss a trick )
• a spiteful act or prank one player might play upon another in order to ridicule and humiliate that person in front of his/her peers ( to play a trick )
• what any red blooded , sex-driven male bridge player is willing to purchase , having decided to celebrate a successful night by visiting his local red-light district    
• ( Plural ) when preceded by the word " how " , this term relates to how one is getting on or what one is up to , usually with regards to bridge  

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY..........

( The following definitions all relate the term " field "  as would appear in any comprehensive bridge glossary written up by Lucifer himself ) 

Field : 

• what far too many players do with their first round responsive bids when partnering serial psychers
• the number of players participating in a competitive event , the majority of which have no hope whatsoever of winning but are simply there to make up the numbers and of course the prize money on offer
• a place where rabbits and lambs for the slaughter all gather together under the same roof, for the " big boys " to seek out , target and butcher
• the name given to describe the "day "  after the slaughter is over , which all the big boys can now reflect upon with smug and gloating delight 
• an ideal out-of-the-way burial ground for the covert disposal of bodies , being all those nasty , trouble making and undesirable reprobates ,  whose memberships needed to be permanently terminated by no-nonsense , zero-tolerance driven committees 
• the kind of " view " eagle-eyed cheats at the table have successfully managed to expand in their quest to find out that extra detail about their opponents' cards
• a specific area of knowledge , interest or expertise an expert player might have ( eg.        " his particular field of interest is in developing an undetectable form of finger signalling " 
• an ability to handle or evade awkward questions in such a way as to never reveal the   truth , especially in situations like attending disciplinary hearings to answer allegations of cheating , or rude and offensive behaviour
• a far from level playing area when up against against dodgy TDs ,  and opponents who either (a) use overly complex unintelligible bidding systems or (b) resort to forms of cheating in keeping with filthy dogs 

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

Top : the missionary position so preferred by English bridge players when in congress with 
         female partners
Unbalanced : the state of mind of members eager and keen to take up posts on the 
         committee
Overtake : a clever manoeuvre by the player who is firmly in the driving seat : this involves
          winning his partner's trick in order to be on lead 
Partner : the player on which all blame for defeat can be placed at his/her door :  an ideal 
           candidate for being the scapegoat , whipping boy , punchbag and/or fall guy 
Frigid : ( a) an alternative term of reference for a contract that can't be beaten , and (b) an
           apt description of a woman who has given up on sex for the pleasure of bridge
To pick up a queen : The sole preoccupation of men who are members of a gay bridge
           club
To shaft an opponent : a callous and ruthless act by a player who comes on very hard and
           strong when up against the weak and helpless 
Down two : ( a ) a statement made by a player when the contract fails by two tricks , and (b) a              statement made by a committee member when a couple of undesirable members have              been booted out of the club , often followed up with the words " three to go ! " 
Consolation Pairs : a bottom tier non-event for all those devastated and distraught players
           who would otherwise go home as abject first day losers ,  but for the opportunity to  
           regain some pride by winning a completely meaningless trophy 
Defensive error : the failure to duck when a flying bridgemate is heading one's way at speed  
  
             

                                  

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED........

• Ideal Partner : a person who dislikes the same club members as you do
• Patience : what players only seem to have when they don't know what card they should play next
• Gross ignorance : what your dreadful partners are guilty of being 144 times worst than the prevailing level of ignorance within the club membership
• Feedback : what you get from a critical partner who ate far too many red hot chili bake beans for his dinner
• Conscience :  ( a ) what is severely lacking in the psychological make up of a cheat and (b) the inner voice which only speaks to a player when there's the likelihood of someone somewhere looking on
• Amnesia : a condition that enables a player who has endured an extremely severe bollocking to play again with the same foul-mouthed partner
• Partnership : a classic example of a paradox
• Table yawn : an honest opinion openly expressed
• Committee : an institution in which the whole is equal to the scum of its parts
• Hope : a disappointment deferred

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

• Ace  :  in the context of flying bridgemates a crack pilot with a unrelenting passion for close encounters 
• 2nd session : the latter part of a tournament where most players spend all their time wondering why they flunked so badly in the first 
• Sell out : a decision by players to allow the opponents to play in 3 of a minor when game is on their way 
• Depression : what many bridge players suffer from when expressing their anger with a total lack of enthusiasm
• Treasurer : a person voted into office to hoodwink members into thinking the club is in a better financial shape than it actually is  
• Bridge bore : an extremely pompous player who is forever me-deep in conversation
• Justice : something that only takes place when the decision goes in the committee's favour at the end of a fiercely contested legal dispute
• Tomorrow : the day an average bridge player expects his/her game to improve
• Letter of apology : a written statement of regret , sorry and remorse which lays the foundation for re-offending
• Bridge prodigy : a child who can steer home extremely difficult contracts long after he/she ought to be in bed

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED...........

• Disciplinary hearing : an alternative name to a rubber stamp job
• Rack : a contraption often used by committees to extract confessions from members prior to a disciplinary hearing
• Closed hand : a highly effective weapon attached to the end of an arm
• Heart : an organ that often stops beating when partner allows a cold grand slam to go down by failing to remove the opponent's last trump
• Bridge talk : a god sent opportunity to commit a variety of indiscretions without thought or concern for others ,  spreading false and malicious rumours full of prejudice and loathing 
• Steal ( a trick ) : the act of winning a trick that really belonged to the opponents , by means of diversionary tactics, cunning , stealth and/or deception
• Bridge teacher : a second rate player often found with one hand in his students' pockets as the other tots up his gross earnings
• Partnership : the state or condition of a union consisting of two superiors and their two inferior halves, making in all three
• AGM : an awe-inspiring illustration of how to keep members completely in the dark , and dissenters at bay with their damn awkward questions
• Direction :  what a player needs to decide upon before firing a bridgemate across the table 

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED..........

• Club secretary : an appointed officer with a roving commission to lie
• Minutes : a piece of work based on fiction , half-truths and omissions
• Litigation : a process or machine which if you enter as a cow you exit as minced meat 
• Misfortune : the only kind of fortune bridge players talk about 
• Off-centre bids : lies which fall well short of psychs , often associated with poor bidders' appalling inability to describe their hands any degree of precision or honesty 
• Zero tolerance : a god sent whipping stick providing those with axes to grind a plentiful supply of opportunities to rid the club of desirable members 
• Bridge : a beautiful game designed to be played in a spirit of goodwill and great sportsmanship ,  but  one which finds itself taken up by predatory sharks , bully boys , mean-hearted monsters and black-hearted villians 
• Overbidding : a dangerous habit eagerly developed by both show-offs and hoggers, always insisting on winning competitive auctions with themselves as declarers
• Witticisms : sharp , clever remarks based on accurate observational skills and/or perceptive insight, which unfortunately are interpreted by the ZT enforcement officers as cruel , inappropriate , and offensive insults 
• Scratch pair : another unfortunate habit adopted by most male players,  keen to obtain immediate gratification to counter stressful situations at the bridge table
• Nose ( for the game ) : an essential part of a player's make up if wishing to sniff out the location of missing queens , cheats at the table and flying bridgemates       

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

• Result :  fixing up a weekend congress with the fittest lady in the club
• Good result : a fruitful weekend congress when everything went to plan
• Bad result : confined to separate bedrooms
• Post mortem discussion : after match conversations destined to point the finger of blame elsewhere 
• Deliberation : the process of examining one's options when bidding or playing the cards , which conveniently enables partner to determine significant features about your hand  
• Delayed raise : an unfortunate state of affairs corrected only by a bigger dose of viagra
• Cock up : ( a ) regular occurrence when non-expert players attempt to make difficult contracts ( b )  when things go to plan at a weekend congress 
• Bar room talk : a common practice in which to commit character assassinations without thought or temptation , based on subconscious impulses born out of prejudice and deep loathing 
• Rabbit : an inept player blessed with the kind of ignorance associated with too much in-breeding
• Club chairman :  an appointed officer with a roving commission to lie    

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED......

Rank : the state of the men's toilets after a rather long bridge tournament
Sponsor :  a person who uses his money to play in company way beyond his/her level of 
ability
Inferior contract : one in which the expert soon realises he charged his sponsor far too little , given the enormity of the task of partnering a total jerk
Superior contract :  one in which a third-rate expert seeks out a sponsor stupid enough to pay double the going rate for his services 
Disciplinary hearing : a kangaroo court by any other name , where the committee act as both judge and jury
Part score :  an extremely frustrating outcome for a lady player whose male partner lacked the balls to make a big raise 
Selectors :  a group of people who allow nepotism and/or favouritism  to take precedence over duty , responsibility and objectivity
Private members' club : a place where ever other man is familiar with a Dick , Rod , Nobby , Percy , Peter , Willie , and John Thomas
Pass out : what many men need from their wives to play bridge at weekends
Bottoms : what gay bridge players constantly think about after the duplicate has finished and the night is still young 

  



                                        

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED......

• Pack : the prevalent mentality of those hell bent on taking control of bridge club affairs
• Deck : the usual place an opponent gets laid on ,  after a table tiff turns nasty
• Eavesdropping : a widespread activity carried out by those determined to gain an unfair advantage , by secretly tuning in to overhear the catalogue of mistakes owned up to by others on nearby or adjoining tables 
• Prune : a highly descriptive term used to describe a wizened old player with a brain of a similar size 
• Bridge convention : devised by players in the hope that their names will live on long after they have departed  
• Friendliness : a concept or character trait alien to players sitting around a bridge table
• Committee : a body of elected individuals charged with high duties and misdemeanours
• Rumour : the perfect device so often employed with a high degree of success by unscrupulous club members ,  who wish to assassinate the good character of another 
• Bridge bore : an extremely annoying and irritating person , who never stops talking to those who never stop wishing that he would drop dead 
• Holding court : the popular pastime of a bridge bore 
• Insult : a derogatory remark next up in degree of enormity to a unwelcome snub or slight
• Discrimination : what takes place inside a bridge club when the particulars noted in one member are declared more objectionable than the same particulars observed in another

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED........

• Defence:    what timid players tend to fall back on when unwilling or unable to launch a bidding attack
• Blind faith :  having a firm but misguided belief that a 7S contract can be made when missing the ace of trumps
• Bridge magic : the amazing ability of bringing home a 7S contract when missing the ace of trumps
• Nepotism : the common practice of recruiting family and friends onto a committee in order to consolidate power and eliminate resistance  
• Bridge club : a social and friendly setting which strangely appeals to both anti-social people and social misfits 
• Chairman : a power crazed individual who believes the pestilence of despotism is far far better than the plague of anarchy
• Indecision : the character trait you wish upon your opponents as the key to your success
• Serial psycher : a maverick bidder with a roving commission to do as he/she sees fit 
• Partnership harmony : a phenomenon rarely seen or achieved in the bizarre world of bridge
• Absurdity : a declared line of play which is manifestly inconsistent with one that uses elementary logic and basic counting to achieve success
• Self abasement : a decent and customary practice adopted by most inferior bridge players when apologising to their expert, extremely talented partners
• Social bridge player : a person whose vices and follies make him/her extremely unsociable   

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

• Table altercation : a bitter argument often ending with sweet revenge
• Know all : a player who has not read a single bridge book or played at the highest level , but who will nevertheless feel qualified to instruct and guide learners. In the event that the instruction or advice backfires , all blame will be attached to the learner's incompetence .
• Non-playing captain : someone full of tactical advice but quick to deny any responsibility for the team's poor performance 
• Lawyer : someone who tells each party to a dispute that he/she has a cast iron case
• Litigation : a lawyer-driven dispute initially brought on by the parties' mutual lack of common sense
• Justice : a perverse TD decision that happens to go in your favour 
• TD : a clever euphemism for the person who many players would otherwise describe as   " that officious , pro-elite , arse-licking sycophant "
•  Plan :   (a ) a carefully considered line of play which will be completely ignored or forgotten while attempting to make the contract, or ( b ) a brilliant and successful line of play which should have been adopted and followed , but for the fact it was only drawn up after the contract had gone down