CRITICS
SLAM
CAREER
PROSPECTS
OF
" BAD
BRIDGE "
EDITOR
AS BEING
DOWN
THE
TOILET
.......

BOLSHY

BIGOT

DEFIES

BAN TO

BRING

BACK

" BAD

BRIDGE "

FOR

BRAINLESS

BEGINNERS

..........

BIGOT-

JOHNSON

RECRUITS

"TOXIC " 

TED

BATEMAN

TO GIVE

THE

MAGAZINE

A BIT

MORE

BITE

........

SURVEY
REVEALS

MAGAZINE

READERS
TO BE

SICK

DEPRAVED

LOW LIFE

MISFITS

OF THE

BRIDGE

WORLD

...........

" BAD

BRIDGE "
REACHES

THE
NADIR
IN CRASS

JOURN-

ALISM

AND

APPALLING

TASTE

...........

BIGOT BUYS

UP 1000'S

OF COPIES

EACH WEEK

TO HELP

MAINTAIN

ITS POSITION

AS  " BEST

SELLING "

BRIDGE

MAGAZINE

.........

BIGOT

STILL

PUZZLED

AS TO

WHY

" BAD

BRIDGE "

HAS

FAILED

TO EARN

THE

PLAUDITS
OF THE

GAME'S

BIG

HITTERS

........

( Hell's bells the magazine is packed full of devious, underhand, and wicked tips on how to add a real cutting edge to their game )

READERS

OF " BAD

" BAD

BRIDGE "

SOON

START

TO PAY

THE

PRICE

AS

BAD

HABITS

SET IN
........                             ( Error :  For " heart " read " heart attack " )

LATEST                     

EDITION

OF " BAD

BRIDGE "

FOCUSES

ON BIGOT-

JOHNSON'S

40 YEAR
QUEST
TO FIND A
DECENT
PARTNER
...........

BIGOT-
JOHNSON

CHANGES
MAGAZINE'S
FORMAT 
TO INCLUDE
MORE OF
HIS
AMAZING
BRIDGE
ADVENTURES
...........

LEADING

CRITICS

CONDEMN
MAGAZINE

AS  " NO

JOKE "
WHEN
POOR
PLAYERS
ARE NAMED
AND
SHAMED
AS A
LAUGHING
STOCK

DESPERATION

FORCES

EDITOR

OF " BAD

BRIDGE "

TO USE
NUDE
PHOTOS
OF 

PAGE 3
PIN-UP

GIRLS TO

BOOST

VOLUME

SALES


( Editor apologises for typo error : " bit " instead of " but ". Staff member responsible has been firmly reprimanded and shot. ) 

BIGOT-

JOHNSON

PLEADS

WITH

PUN

TO

COME

UP 

WITH

MORE

BIG

IMPACT
HEADLINES
.........

SURVEY

REVEALS

" BAD

BRIDGE "

READERS

HAVEN'T

GOT A

CLUE

ABOUT

THE GAME

...BUT THEY

WHOLE -

HEARTEDLY
AGREE THAT

THE MAGAZINE

SURE MAKES

THEM LOOK

GOOD !

BIGOT- JOHNSON

STICKS TWO

FINGERS

UP AT THE

ESTABLISH-

-MENT BY

TAKING

BRIDGE

INTO

THE

REALMS

OF

DARKNESS,

DEPRAVITY

AND

DEMONOLOGY

..........

" BAD

BRIDGE "

CELEBRATES

ITS

25th

EDITION

DESPITE

CRITICS

TEARING

THE

MAGAZINE

INTO

SHREDS

.........

.......

PUN

TAKES

OVER

THE

EDITOR-

SHIP

OF

"BAD

BRIDGE "

TO

HELP RE-

VITALISE

FLAGGING

SALES

.......

" BAD

BRIDGE "

IS

THE

ONLY

MAGAZINE

THAT IS

PREPARED

TO

TELL

THE

TRUTH

...

...

...

( about the

truly shocking

things that

can happen to

bridge players )

TOP

EXPERTS

AGREE

THAT

"BAD

BRIDGE"

CAN

REALLY

HELP

BAD

PLAYERS

IMPROVE

THEIR

SCORES

( BUT NOT

THEIR

GAME ! )

BIGOT-

JOHNSON

LEARNED

EDITOR

AND

BRIDGE

CLUB

CHAIRMAN

SPEAKS

HIS

MIND

........