THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED.......

• Table altercation : a bitter argument often ending with sweet revenge
• Know all : a player who has not read a single bridge book or played at the highest level , but who will nevertheless feel qualified to instruct and guide learners. In the event that the instruction or advice backfires , all blame will be attached to the learner's incompetence .
• Non-playing captain : someone full of tactical advice but quick to deny any responsibility for the team's poor performance 
• Lawyer : someone who tells each party to a dispute that he/she has a cast iron case
• Litigation : a lawyer-driven dispute initially brought on by the parties' mutual lack of common sense
• Justice : a perverse TD decision that happens to go in your favour 
• TD : a clever euphemism for the person who many players would otherwise describe as   " that officious , pro-elite , arse-licking sycophant "
•  Plan :   (a ) a carefully considered line of play which will be completely ignored or forgotten while attempting to make the contract, or ( b ) a brilliant and successful line of play which should have been adopted and followed , but for the fact it was only drawn up after the contract had gone down