REBECCA ROOD'S MAILBAG.............

Dear Rebecca,
Flushed with success in a recent pairs competition, I immediately put in a letter to the club's selection committee,  demanding that they put my name forward as an automatic choice  for next year's " A" team.
But would you Adam and Eve it I received  a polite but curt letter back , explaining why my 540 local points for winning a Sunday afternoon charity event at Tickton Grange Old Folks' Home wasn't good enough to rate me as "A" team material !  
Well, let me tell you I was completely gutted. Moreover, these short-sighted bastards on the selection panel had the audacity to suggest that my local master ranking needed to upgraded to that of grand master before anything else. The pompous, patronising cretins. 
When top players at my club only choose to partner one another, I'm left to play with the riff raff. In fact looking back over the 2 years I've been playing the game, I've despised virtually every one of the 38 partners I've had to lumber myself with. They were so bad it took all my flair and genius to maintain my current average score of 46.5%. Indeed, it is my firm contention that even a grand master wouldn't get close to that average with such a wretched and inept shower of no-hopers.
So yes, I firmly believe the selectors haven't got a clue when it comes to recognising raw untapped talent when it is standing right there in front of them.

Yours miffed from Manchester  

Dear Miff,
I really do sympathise with your predicament. Why should you wait all those years to prove how good you already are. Climbing up through the EBU rankings means diddly-squat , as many rabbits have made it to the top despite being complete prats at the game.
My advice is simple and based on years of experience. Write in again to your selection committee, but make sure you stuff the envelope with big wadges of the green stuff. It's bloody amazing how any offer of sponsorship will get one the club's grand masters knocking on your door wanting you to be his partner in the next year's "A" team. 

Yours really well up on the the way things are done, Rebecca