NEWSFLASH : BIGOT-JOHNSON  ( SUPREME CHAIRMAN OF THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BC ) PUBLISHES A REVISED JOB SPECIFICATION FOR A POSITION OF TEAM SELECTOR

Qualifications :  None 

Experience :  Preferably none . Limited knowledge of the game. Knows very little or nothing about the players eligible for selection.

Areas of expertise :  Back-stabbing . Obsequious grovelling. Sucking up. Sly , devious and underhand behaviour. Loves to be vindictive and with a penchant for sticking the boot in. Ability to work undercover and/or in the shadows. Believes in exercising extreme bias and prejudice. Flawed judgement. Oblivious to criticism.

Other qualities : Prepared to fly in the face of common sense and objectivity. Immune to criticism. Prepared to accept backhanders. Secretive. Prepared to deny anything. Great believer in favouritism. Bloated self-ego . Crippled with self-delusions. Control freak.

Role models :  Attila The Hun , Hitler , The Borgias ,  Madame Guillotine , Lady Macbeth ,
Uriah Heap , Ming The Merciless, the Kray Brothers and the Wicked Witch of the West