NEWSFLASH : IN A BOLD ATTEMPT TO NAME AND SHAME LOW DOWN FILTHY CHEATING DOGS , CARP IS ASKING ALL CLUB COMMITTEES AND GOVERNING BODIES TO HAND OUT THESE BLACK EBONY AWARDS TO THOSE DESERVING OF THE FOLLOWING ACHIEVEMENTS :

• The Most Ingenious Signalling Method Ever Devised
• Getting Away With It For So Long
• Die-hard Refusal To Own Up
• Excessive Number Of Trophies Won On The Back Of Unauthorised Information
• Brazen Belligerence In The Face Of Irrefutable Accusations
• Pin Point  Precision Tuning In With Antennae Like Ears
• No One Ever Knowing The Full extent Of Our Nefarious Practices
• Eagle-eyed Long Distance Observations
• Repeated Refusals To Hand Back Ill-gotten Trophies
• Walkabout Surveillance And Information Gathering
• Self Delusion Leading To Perpetual Denial
• Outrageous Contempt For Ethical Rules And Fair Play
• Complete Lack Of Remorse And Repentence
• Dirtiest Cheating Dog Of Them All
• Do I Give A Damn About Any Of This