Yes folks, I have written many books on bridge.....nearly all have been declared as " unprintable ", and " unsuitable " ......especially for those with a delicate, politically correct disposition. However, I have been working on my " Bridge Players' Bible ", a book that could well become a best seller. A book full of philosophical thoughts, sound advice, meaningful guidance, untold wisdom and ground-breaking revelations that could change the way we approach the game. Let's bloody face it, as bridge players we are forever searching for divine inspiration to move us forward towards that elusive goal of perfection. And this book will do just that.
So just to give you desperate souls a taster of what's to come, I am prepared to let you read the 23rd chapter entitled " Lord Bigot's Prayer "......a wonderful passage that should help through the troubled times that lie ahead at the tables :
The Lord Bigot is my saviour : I shall not want
He maketh me realise what I need to do for the best
He leadeth me towards miraculous coups to greatly improve my average
He leadeth me down the paths of righteous bidding and cunning play
Yea, though I walk into the darkest bridge arenas
I will fear no evil ; for Bigot's words are with me
His wisdom is my staff by which I shall not fall
He provideth me with a mind-set that protects me in the presence of mine enemies
He annointest my head with such conventions my mind runneth over
Good sense and trophies shall be bestowed upon me all the days of my life
And I shall forever dwell in the House of Bridge as a winner
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