AN AMAZING BUT TRUE STORY......( By Bridgemeister Gibson )

One night a half-naked Bigot-Johnson walked into his bridge club soaked in blood , with 50 or more sharp spear-like pins still embedded in his flesh.
Members were transfixed ,  paralysed by a lethal combination of horror, wonder, astonishment and muted joy. Was this act of penance to right the terrible sins he had perpetrated on members he intensely disliked ? Apparently not.  Or was it a twisted and perverted way to punish himself ,  for coming in with a shocking below-40% score the day before ? Apparently not.
The truth it seems was that his very assertive wife made him act as an improvised pin cushion, having been called upon to sew up the split seams in the only decent pair of trousers he had left in his possession.