ONE OF THE MANY GUINNESS BOOK RECORDS CURRENTLY HELD BY MEMBERS OF THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BRIDGE CLUB...............

The Shortest Ever Partnership
On February 23rd 2007,  Ivor " Short Fuse " Malone was obliged to partner the Thursday night stand-by , Tony " Quick Temper " Lewis , after being told that his regular partner had taken his own life hours earlier , having throwing himself off a bridge in front of a fast approaching high speed train.
With both players renown for their highly volatile and unforgiving nature , this ill-fated partnership was doomed from the start. It was , in the words of Chairman Bigot-Johnson , " a powder keg of raw emotion and simmering hostilities in the making ". With arguments quickly developing over what system card to play to and who should occupy the North seat , the pair split up before playing a single card. On the very first board both players elected not to bid on their respectable 11 point hands , and so a pass out was entered onto the score sheet . Inevitably they got into a raging argument about who was to blame for missing a two no trump contract . This was immediately followed by a second row over whether or not eight tricks could have been made on competent defence. 
However , when Ivor went for the bridgemate with malicious intent , Tony immediately took evasive action by running off towards the exit door in a zig zag fashion. Once out of range , he turned round screaming " I'm damned if I'm playing another hand with you ....you bastard ! ". Seconds later he was gone never to be seen again.