LAW REPORT :  ARDUNTOO v. BIGOT-JOHNSON AND OTHERS ( 2015)

Having been thrown out of the SHBC for offensive and aggressive behaviour , Arduntoo felt obliged to sue the committee for substantial damages on the grounds that the expulsion was wrongful and malicious. A short extract from the trial's transcript appears below. 

Counsel for the plaintiff : So please tell the court Bigot.... what precisely was this the alleged assault all about ?
B-J : It was horrible.....tantamount to a terrorist attack using biological weapons...putting all those in close proximity at risk for their lives 
CP : You mean my client sneezed ?
B-J : Exactly.......releasing tens of thousands of nasty germs into the air ......apparently aimed at his left-hand opponent.......poor sod..... who took the brunt of this airborne attack. He was almost blown off his chair !
CP : Might I remind you that my client suffers from acute hay fever ......not the plague , ebola or a deadly strain of the flu 
B-J : Nevertheless .....what he committed was an offensive and aggressive act ,  leaving the committee to cough up a solution to resolve this potentially lethal problem 
CP : Like killing the millions of dust-mites lurking in the club's grubby carpets and upholstery.....or like providing the man with some tissues.......
B-J : Listen up you .......sneezes can kill........in fact we should have done him for attempted murder
CP : Excuse me....but your reaction to this sneeze was clearly laced with bias 
B-J : How dare you suggest we were biased in any way towards that snotty-nosed , snivelling ,
red-eyed , toss pot like Arduntoo
CP : But I have documented evidence we clearly demonstrates a history of animosity against my client...... by certain committee members..... long before the sneezing incident occurred ......indeed ,  the fact that you promised to " sort this man out for once and for all " leads one to suspect that any step he took out of line was going to be his last
B-J : Arduntoo is a trouble-maker who has a habit of getting up everyone's nose......or at least his germs do !  The decision to expel this germ bag was made without any bias or prejudice whatsoever. We had a job to do and by God we did it....... in a thoroughly professional manner .... and in accordance with the club's laid down disciplinary procedures
CP : So how come he didn't get an initial hearing ?
B-J : Couldn't risk bringing him in......the man's a walking plague......I was obliged to use my discretion.........especially when the outcome was a foregone conclusion
CP : No bias then......just pre-judgement ? Or was it simply the fulfilment of long held dreams by
certain committee members ?
B-J : Yes ....you could say that .......but as a committee we approached the task in a fair and impartial way
CP : So what if other members are caught sneezing.....will they receive the same treatment ?
B-J : Not a chance.....the committee would see these unfortunate incidents in a completely different light
CP : Why is that ?
B-J : Well , as you know.....some faces fit......others don't........and as committee members we use our vast experience and knowledge to determine which members deserve to stay ....and which deserve to go
CP : No bias then ?
B-J : Absolutely not....