12 THINGS THAT WOULD PUT PEOPLE OFF FROM JOINING YOUR BRIDGE CLUB......... ( Article by Carp )

1.  Scratch marks on the insides of all the exit doors
2.  Blood on the walls
3.  " We're Watching You " signs on every wall and door
4.  A committee room that is a shrine to The Spanish Inquisition
5.  Metal grilles on all the downstairs windows
6.  Cupboards full of ready-to-use body bags
7.  Committee members called Mengele 
8.  Uniformed members all wearing Zero Tolerance Law Enforcement Officer arm-bands
9.  Dead bodies still to be removed from their sitting seats
10. Cries of help and agonising pain emanating from the downstairs cellars
11. Unmarked gravestones dotted all over the club's grounds
12. TDs wearing black balaclavas and carrying baseball bats