BIGOT-JOHNSON'S FOOLPROOF GUIDE ON HOW TO SPOT CHEATS..........BECAUSE THERE'S PLENTY OF THEM OUT THERE !

12  CLASSIC TELL TALE SIGNS

1. They regularly leave their seats for reconnaissance walkabouts
2. Pricked ears at all times eager to tune in any loose table talk  nearby
3. An inability to fully explain their system card or a sloppy understanding of it
4. Constantly fidgeting in an attempt to fully utilise the genius of body language
5. Complementing the bidding and playing of cards with appropriate facial expressions
6. Regularly getting scores way beyond their level of ability
7. Forever seeking the assistance of directors to get bad scores adjusted ( on any pretext  whatsoever )
8. Asking questions about an opponent's artificial or system bid when it just so happens to be their suit 
9. An inability to sit upright , often leaning one way and then the other in an attempt to capitalise on their bendy necks and eagle eyes
10. Hesitating in a multitude of different ways to cater for each different set of circumstances and/or particular situations
11. Highly competitive result merchants with nasty, unforgiving dispositions
12. Unprincipled and unscrupulous in other aspects of their lives