KEEPING CLUB MEMBERS IN THE DARK : BIGOT-JOHNSON LEADS THE WAY

Yes , by all means promote the myth that your club is a " social and friendly " one, when in reality a far more important objective is being pursued . Namely ,  restrict at all costs the opportunities for members to socialise and chatter. 
It is of paramount importance for any committee to be in control of both information passing to members, and passing between members. The less time members have to chat , the less risk there is of any awkward questions being raised , speculative answers being forwarded , and shocking conclusions drawn. Keep members blissfully unaware in cleverly woven cocoons of ignorance. Don't give idle gossip the chance to flourish. Remember silence is golden. Therefore , in order to keep club members permanently in the dark , every effort must be made to achieve the following : 

1.  Start all bridge sessions five minutes after opening the club doors , forcing members to go straight to their tables
2.  Close up the club no later than 5 minutes after the bridge session is over
3.  Encourage directors to meet a 9 board an hour target in order to restrict time available for end-of-round conversations
4.  Close down the bar ,  and convert the now defunct bar area into an additional committee room. ( This removes at a single stroke the breeding ground for tittle-tattle gossip and rumour spreading )
5. Convert all toilets into single cubicles
6. Use ZT rules to crack down on table talk while boards are still in play elsewhere in the room
7. Ban any kind of newsletter which is likely to contain uncensored articles or letters of concern submitted by free-thinking members  
8.  Make sure all committee minutes are extremely brief and vague , and that the content is completely harmless , trivial , boring, sterile and of no real interest 
9. Also pull out all the stops to see that every committee report and notice board bulletin has been carefully sanitised , and extremely economical with the truth
10. Clamp down on rogue committee members in an effective and decisive way. It is vital that everyone adheres to the rule " what goes on in committee , stays in committee "
11. Brainwash all committee members to become ardent disciples of collective responsibility and confidentiality
12. Create within the club a climate of total apathy such that members can't be bothered to ask searching questions , or to seek the truth 
13. Set up a propaganda sub-committee to generate lots of " positive spin " bulletins 
14. Develop the art of releasing misinformation and/or disinformation to hide the truth and side-track those members with nasty inquisitive minds 
15. Eliminate any club member who seeks the truth and is prepared to spill the beans , using whatever tools are at your disposal