BIGOT-JOHNSON, CHAIRMAN OF THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BC , DENIES IN COURT ACCUSATIONS OF LYING.........
Counsel for the plaintiff (CP) : I put it to you Bigot-Johnson that you are a liar
B-J : Are you suggesting that I am guilty of telling porkies , pooling the wool over the members' eyes , pulling fast ones , never being on the level , speaking with a forked tongue , engaging in sharp practices , creating smoke screens , spinning yarns , taking members for a ride , and talking a complete load of bollocks.......?
CP : Yes.....all of those things ......and more
B-J : Let me assure you.... and this court..... I am a man who never tells a lie
CP : Oh....so please explain then why all your written submissions contain dozens of falsehoods and gross misrepresentations of fact .......which are so far from truth as to beggar belief. You have repeatedly substituted true facts with pure fiction
B-J : I resent that accusation?....
CP : So please tell the court how do you account for the shameful discrepancies which I have unearthed during this trial ?
B-J : Listen smart arse....these documents I submitted contained no lies to my knowledge......
although I must admit....on occasions .... I was just a bit economical with the truth
CP : That Bigot is a gross understatement
B-J : Surely one is allowed to stretch the truth a bit in a bold and desperate effort to get across a point more effectively ?
CP : If only that was case....
B-J : And surely there's no harm in hedging an issue if it's not the right time to come clean. And yes.....maybe I am guilty of prevaricating a little .....
CP : Bigot.....you have no shame......you lie through your back teeth
B-J : No sir....I do not....although I must admit to some dissembling and dissimulation of the facts.....not to mention dabbling with alternative truths......but as for lying ....absolutely not
CP : Man up for once in your life , Bigot..... and admit your guilt
B-J : Well ....I am prepared to confess to making innocent and inadvertent mistakes....and getting hold of the wrong end of the stick.....perhaps based on basic assumptions to begin with being inadequate......but I have always tried to be technically accurate
CP : You can say what you like about your failings and shortcomings.... but lies are lies
B-J : Indeed there are....however .....it is my contention that the pursuit of truth is chimerical. Therefore, my guilt can only be that of pursuing the most convenient arrangement of facts which I consider to be pertinent and relevant to my ideas
CP : Bigot.....you are beyond redemption
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