DID YOU KNOW THAT THE HUMPTY DUMPTY NURSERY RHYME WAS BASED ON AN ORIGINAL BRIDGE-RELATED POETIC MASTERPIECE....( A sensational discovery by Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber )

Yes , my unbelievable find now proves that long before Humpty Dumpty came onto the scene , Sir Francis Dashwood had put into print a masterful poem about a hapless and errant bridge player called Numpty Numpty. And so for your delight and pleasure,  I present you with this literary masterpiece, which against all the odds turned up at a car boot , sealed behind a framed picture of cavorting nudes , which no doubt was hung up on the main wall of the infamous Hell Fire Bridge Club. 

Numpty Numpty had reached the top table
But holding this position he was clearly unable
Panic set in and he made a bad call
The consequence of which was a terrible fall
His partner tried to stop the rot
But Numpty's confidence was totally shot
Attempts to help him were all in vain
He was too consumed with guilt and pain
With him rocketing down to table thirty
Partner's looks became black and dirty
As the great fall gathered more pace
Partner then punched him full in the face
Numpty of course crashed to the ground
His ego all terribly shattered
But players relentlessly carried on
Since nothing but bridge really mattered
So with Numpty in bits and tiny pieces 
At least two thousand and ten
Everyone thought " what's the point of trying
To put him back together again ? "