( Just lately Bigot-Johnson has been enjoying unparallelled and unprecedented success at his club, winning one event after another . Indeed , this complete reversal of his fortunes can attributed to only one thing : the recent imposition of 10 unholy commandments , as shown below . )
1. No player is allowed to open the bidding before the Club Chairman , Bigot-Johnson
2. Even when the Chairman has opened the bidding , opponents can only enter the auction with simple overcalls
3. Any opponent who uses an artificial system bid will be shot
4. Any player who makes an unnatural bid will be washed and cleansed with unholy boiling water
5. Opponents are not permitted to " double " the Chairman's bids under any circumstances, as such bids would be viewed as undermining Bigot's bridge integrity and wisdom
6. Opponents must not execute a squeeze or coup against the revered and pacifist-minded Chairman , as these would be classified as unwanted acts of open aggression and rebellion
7. Any partner of Bigot must always tell him beforehand when he/she intends to psyche
8. Opponents are not permitted to call the TD over , whenever Bigot is at the table ( since any allegations of wrongdoing will be automatically deemed as false , defamatory and malicious )
9. Opponents are obliged to play all their low cards first , when following suit to bigot's play
10. And should our esteemed Chairman record a poor score , then every avenue must be explored to have the board scrubbed
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