Friday 8 November 2013

EVEN MORE SHENANIGANS AND SHENANIGANS BC.....

Bigot-Johnson was really into his stride having secured as second year in office as Chairman of club's committee. In keeping with the initiatives introduced at the Slaughter House , Bigot was keen to unleash the following Charter on this new bunch of innocent, unsuspecting members, simply to bolster the already draconian Constitution recently implemented  at an  unscheduled , unreported, clandestine committee meeting. The primary aim of the new Charter was to safeguard the privileges and rights bestowed upon the chosen few , as currently laid down in the club's deviously drafted Constitution.
Some of the terms listed in this amazing document can be seen below :

This Charter is hereby ordained by a special resolution passed without opposition on the back of sack loads of proxy votes , as requested by Bigot-Johnson's call-to-arms. Designed to set up a framework of regulations, this document will allow the committee to crack down heavily on errant members, who in bad faith or without word of warning seek to expose perceived abuses of power by voicing their unwanted criticisms and concerns . 
The provisions of the Charter are as follows :
1. A new sub-committee shall be established to undertake surveillance , intelligence and covert operations , referred to as SICO , but only by those who are in the know. This group will be fully independent, financed by the club's newly created secret slush fund, having complete anonymity along with an open cheque book. These group of carefully selected and highly motivated people will bug , listen into , intercept and report on any and all communication, oral, written and electronic , which ordinary club members foolishly choose to get involved in, especially the type of tittle-tattle which relates to , directly or indirectly , the activities undertaken or intended by the committee or individuals who serve upon it.
2. The sub-committee will be entitled to wield the proverbial sword on any irresponsible member who dares to publicise or broadcast derogatory or injurious comments about the committee , using such words as " biased  , corruptible , money grabbing , covert , secretive ,  untrustworthy , despotic , nepotistic , Stalinist , and  fascist ".  Unsavoury words about the Chairman must never be used , such as " tosspot , fool and buffoon "  at any time within the perceived 30 year period Bigot-Johnson intends stay on as chairman. 
3. The sub-committee will rein in any and all members who are responsible for bad mouthing the committee or its officers, including those who are responsible for passing on illicit or damaging information onto newsletter , blog or local newspaper editors,  which  attempt to expose (a) the perceived abuses of power or ( b ) additional rights and privileges the committee may wish to bestow upon themselves. These reprobates will be subjected to a brutal and ruthlessly administered disciplinary process , which under the existing Constitution is exempt from (a) acting in good faith and (b) adhering to rules of natural justice.
4. The sub-committee shall also have the power to deal with any ordinary member whose actions or words cause unnecessary distress , pain or suffering to members or officers on the committee. Although power in invested in SICO requires intrusion into the private lives of the club members , the reverse of this situation is absolutely forbidden.  The dirty laundry , skeletons in the closet , dark secrets , and never-ending scandals linked to committee members must never be brought out into the open , since the committee must be allowed to get on with its work , without fear or worry of unwanted interference , investigations, recriminations and rebellion from within. 

5 -100 (  Secret and highly confidential )

In conclusion , this Charter will enhance the prospects of the committee to fulfil its aims in ridding the club , in accordance with the rules and regulations of the Constitution ,  of all troublemakers, undesirables , reprobates, pantopods , and unpleasant riff raff , on any whim or pretext whatsoever., in order to promote and enhance absolute loyalty and obedience from its compliant down trodden members. 

    
  

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