Sunday 31 December 2017

BEAVIS AND BIGOT-JOHNSON DISCUSS THE SUPREME COURT DECISION

- So the Supreme Court judges shafted us good and proper
- Yes they sure did
- Well it seems to me that the commercial justification argument for a deterrent fine should 
   have only applied to serial over-stayers and those who overstay out of a blatant disregard 
   for other motorists ,  who....when car parks are very busy.....are desperately looking for
   available spaces. Overstaying by a few minutes hardly undermines the effective 
   traffic space management of the car park , which aims to benefit all motorists 
   hoping to use its facilities.
- I agree
- So why didn't our lawyers set out to make this distinction ?
- God knows 
- The notion of a flat-rate lump sum fine for any overstay.....be it 5 minutes or 5 hours must 
   surely in some instances to be regarded as an unenforceable penalty .....because it fails 
   to separate and distinguish petty breaches from far more serious ones
- I agree
- A fairer system...... so easy to administer.......is to fine offending motorists 50p for each  
  minute overstay ,  in keeping with the way magistrates vary the fines on motorists in 
  accordance with the actual speed they were clocked at......
- So why didn't our lawyers raise this particular argument ?
- God knows
- Well let me tell you that most private car parking companies rely on four things in order to 
  secure evidence on which to levy a legally enforceable fine
- And what are those Bigot ?
- A camera that works with a clean, clear lens......a ticket machine with unclogged coin slots
  which accepts the coins and issues a valid ticket.......a signboard which highlights in big 
  bold lettering all the onerous terms , easily legible.... not covered by graffiti......and 
  registration plates which are both readable and genuine
- Yes.....so what's the point you are trying to make ?
-  Well , if these requirements are compromised in any way......other motorists would have a 
  cast-iron get-out-of-jail card to thwart all these vindictive and mercenary parking 
  companies  
- Are you suggesting foul play on the part of the motorist ?
- Not exactly ..... but how does one combat scamming ....not to mention obtaining money by 
  threats and intimidation ........crimes which are far worse ?
- I agree
- Nice talking to you
- It's been a pleasure and an education
PARKING COWBOYS v. BIGOT-JOHNSON  ( 2016 ) CASE No.2 

For a second time this infamous money grabbing company issued a £70 PCN against Bigot-Johnson who for a second time refused to pay. Determined to crush and punish those who defy their threatening demands for money,  the company hired yet another crack lawyer to take on a doggedly determined Bigot . The following extract from the trial's transcript appears below.

Counsel for the plaintiff :  You cannot deny Bigot that your car was parked at a time when you had no valid ticket 
B-J : What.....I recall the 2 hour ticket purchased allowed me to park up to 4.30 pm.....and I left the car park at exactly 4.13pm
CP : Correct....... but the ticket was purchased at 2.30......and our cameras registered your entry into the car park at 2.05 pm. So by the terms of the contract you entered into you were required to exit the car park by 4.05 pm
B-J : What.......it took me 5 minutes to find a vacant bay......then another 20 minutes to read your umpteenth version of revised terms and conditions in order to fully understand the basis of what contract I was entering into
CP: The rules are strict......your ticket only covered you for 2 hours ....but your car was on our premises for 2 hours 8 minutes ......a clear and blatant overstay which warrants a punitive PCN  
B-J : Hold on......but every motorist has to park up first before making his/her way to the ticket machine, which automatically means there will be a few minutes of parking before the contract is made at the ticket machine
CP : Correct .....but the starting time is always calculated back to the time of entry as recorded by the camera........it's the way the cookie crumbles
B-J : So that means hundreds of motorists could easily be caught out this way
CP :  Without a doubt.....in fact Parking Cowboys have used this ingenious  trap to stitch up motorists good and proper , such is the extent of their unending greed and hell bent desire to maximise profits 
B-J : You mean profiting by means of deception and extortion
CP : That's one way of putting it......but the company regards these practices as being commercially justified in a corporate world where consumer exploitation is legitimate and rife
PARKING COWBOYS  v. BIGOT-JOHNSON ( 2016)   Case No.1

In an act of justified defiance Bigot-Johnson refused to pay the £70 PCN on the grounds he had paid the required parking fee for the time the vehicle had been left. Despite all his protests and appeals the company went straight to court to recover the £70 plus costs. Bigot-Johnson as usual chose to defend himself. A short extract from the trial's transcript appears below.

B-J : On what grounds was I issued a PCN ?
Counsel For Parking-Eye ( CPE ) : You broke one of the rules.
B-J : What particular rule are you referring to ?
CPE : The one that specifies that your car has to line up exactly in the middle of the parking bay
B-J : What !
CPE : Yes....there has to an equal room either side of the car to ensure doors can be opened well away from cars parking in adjoining bays . Your car was parked well over to the right.
B-J : I've never been aware of this rule
CPE : It's there alright.....buried in the terms and conditions on display by the ticket machines
B-J:  Just exactly where ?
CPE : Column 16 .....rule 637 ......one of hundreds listed in the small print
B-J :  What ! ....So tell me how many rules are up there on these notice boards
CPE : Around 800 with lots more to come
B-J : This is madness.......
CPE : No it's not......it's sound commercial practice. The more rules there are the more likely we are to catch motorists out. The greater the number of infringements the bigger our profits become. At present the company is unable to process parking charge notices fast enough...... such is the volume of parking transgressions
B-J : This racket of yours is nothing more than legalised extortion
CPE : No it's not .......we are simply insisting on our legal rights. Moreover the judges are on our side by agreeing that parking companies need to enforce parking rules...... otherwise their ability to regulate parking would be impossible.
B-J : But how can motorists be seen to agree to all the rules when they are given no chance or time to read them.....let alone understand what they mean
CPE : That's not Parking Cowboys problem.......though I must admit the company issued a PCN to one motorist for overstaying his allotted 2 hours free parking , because it took him over 150 minutes to read the company's rules and regulations through dirty , badly smeared glass
B-J : Your clients are without doubt evil money grabbing bastards
CPE : True......but very wealthy to boot.......with more than enough money to pay top barristers like me a small fortune to defeat awkward motorists like you with consummate ease
B-J : Someone please tell me what the hell has happened to courtroom justice ?