DEFINITION OF PARKING
                                                                                   GOTCHA PARKING SERVICES v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Bigot was now looking to rattle a few more cages belonging to these notorious private parking companies. Needless to say his latest stunt brought about another unwarranted PCN . which of course Bigot refused to pay. His day in court had arrived and the scene was set for another triumph to savour and relish.

Counsel for the plaintiff (CP): This devious reprobate .....this nasty spiteful litte man had the blatant audacity to enter the car park ........only to leave his car there all day without paying for a ticket. Consequently , my client was seriously out of pocket. 
B-J :  Yes....I didn't pay for a ticket...... because no way was I parked up on his site for even a single minute.
CP : Your honour the car  was  first photographed  entering the car park at 8-45 am and then on leaving the site at 6-40pm. Total parking time........ 9 hours 55 minutes.
B-J : My car.....your Honour ......was not parked up at all if one looks at the strict mean of the term " parking ". Parking involves bringing a vehicle that one is driving to a halt , leaving it temporarily and typically in a designated bay or car parking area for a specific period of time. To be in a designated bay the car has to be on the ground in order to occupy it. In my case none of these requirements were present.
Judge : I'm perplexed......please explain
B-J : Firstly ,  on entering the site I  allowed  my three passengers to disembark the vehicle before inflating a huge balloon which was attached to the roof of the car. This balloon eventually lifted the car into the air.  A rope from the car had been attached to a metal fence so as to anchor the car in fixed raised position , 30 feet up from a parking bay and several metres away from the fence. So at no time was I parked up in a bay........just simply hovering above it. Moreover the car was constantly moving to and fro in the air, whilst I remained inside. 
CP : Ah....you were still in effect on the site..... which surely to God includes the ground below and the air space above.
B-J : Yes.....but by using the air space above and having no contact with the ground.....the vehicle in question had ceased to be a car ........indeed it had been converted into an air balloon   
CP: This is ridiculous.......
Judge : And so is your claim against BIgot.....without proof of actual parking.....there is no merit in this claim.....case dismissed.

INTERPRETATION OF CAR PARKING SIGNAGE

GOTCHA PARKING SERVICES v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Another day. Another wretched money grabbing private parking company. Another PCN.
And another day in court for the intrepid Bigot-Johnson who was prepared yet again to humiliate these corporate arseholes for all the world to laugh at and smile.

Counsel for the plaintiff: Your honour.......it is an undisputed fact that Bigot parked his 2 seater car without paying for a ticket. This type of criminal behaviour needs to be stamped out immediately using the full force of the law to do so. How else can my client earnan honest living.....a crust to feed his family? There was a total failure of consideration which in my mind justifies the imposition of a £100 fine. How else can this mischief be stopped ? If my client loses this case..... all bloody motorists will be at it in their tiny little cars.... 
Judge : Is this true Bigot......... that you deliberately chose not to pay ?
B-J : Yes.......but why should I ?.......you see my wife and I have identical cars and on that particular day I followed her into the car park where it became apparent we could both park our vehicles within the same bay. So my wife purchased a 3 hour ticket for a single bay, which easily accommodated both our cars.
CP : Hold on.......that can't be right ?
B-J : Well......nothing on the signage says that this space saving manouevre wasn't an option. A bay was paid for in full.... so therefore the company can't complain of any loss of income.
CP : No.....it has to be one ticket per car...
B-J : I'm afraid that is not the case.....it's one ticket per bay......and until you change your signage we shall continue to double up so to speak
Judge : Yes.....small is beautiful without a doubt  and  I must say how much I admire your cheek and creative thinking. Case dismissed.
  

 INTERPRETATION OF CAR PARKING SIGNAGE 
                                                                                                                                                    EXCEL AT SCAMMING v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Bigot was livid when Excel had decided to narrow the bays in order to squeeze in more parking spaces. By doing so the company was encouraging motorists to park outside the lines or risk being unable to open the car doors fully.  But Bigot had other ideas. Once parked up ,  he enlisted the help of other sympathetic motorists to heave the car over onto its side This way the car was well inside the designated parking area, but Excel were having none of it. They issued Bigot with a PCN for parking a vehicle in an illegal fashion,  not in accordance with its rules. As expected the dispute went to court. 

Counsel for the plaintiff :  Your Honour......
as you can see from the photographic
evidence......Bigot had parked his car in
an improper fashion , contrary to the terms
and conditions ....all of which were clearly displayed on the company's giant noticeboard sited right beside the ticket machine. The man is a nuisance and a 
bloody menace.....
B-J : I strongly object to the use of the word "bloody"......it's an unwarranted expletive ...a term which should not be used in a court of law
Judge : I agree.......but you're happy with the two labels " nuisance " and " menace "
B-J :  Yes indeed....the fact that the company sees me in this way is truly wonderful......but nowhere in the signage does it say that vehicles have to be parked up on four wheels. The use of the word " improper " implies many things but not when a car is parked in such a way as to give motorists , who might park in either of the adjoining bays, the maximum space possible to enable all 4 doors to open fully........so they can exit and re-enter their cars in an easy and comfortable way.
Judge : I admire your altruistic attitude and the sacrifice you have gone to to provide a more pleasurable parking experience for the users of this site. I myself drive a Hummer .....which I might add is a bummer of a vehicle to park ........even in sites which provide generous spaces. Deliberately narrowing the bays smacks of selfishness and vindictive greed. Case dismissed.......claimant to pay all costs
CP : I protest.....Execl's boss is going to have my guts for garters
Judge : Oh dear..........but that's life when you choose to represent and work for intolerant , unsympathetic and nasty organisations like private oparking companies.  Good day to you sir. And Bigot.....how about meeting up with me  ( and Sir Greg Knight ) for a pub lunch and pint at the usual watering hole ? It's my turn to pay.
B-J : Yes.....looking forward to it.......see you both soon



                 








                                        

THE GREAT PCN RACKET : FAT  CAT EXECUTIVES REVEAL THE  SHOCKING TRUTH IN A MOST ASTONISHING PHONE CALL CONFESSION 

- Hi Simon.....how's things ? Still making shit loads of money ?
- Oh yes........motorists in general are like lambs to the slaughter. The great majority 
  fall victims to all our well conceived scams.......paying the fines without a whimper
- The numpties 
-  Yeah   but  we still get the few stubborn ones who refuse to roll over ......quite prepared to
   fight us all the way
- Then nerve of these people........depriving us of " fines " which help pay for the bread on
   our table......along with the luxury yachts for us to enjoy extended mediterranean holidays 
- Too true....so our only course of action is to take these buggers to court come what
   may.....just to make them quirm and suffer throughout the long protracted process
-  Absolutely.....but doesn't it piss you off that these unwavering sods often win their
   cases in court ?  It makes me wonder why we bother with these arseholes ?
-  Off course we bother. I don't give a damn about these unfortunate outcomes. The fact of
   the matter is that county court judgements are not binding and never will be. So we 
   can keep hammering away until we find a judge who hates motorists more than us. What 
   really matters is that we must never give up on harassing , intimidating and threatening 
   these toe-rags,    What is a few thousand down the pan in relation to the hundreds 
   of thousands we rake in from the compliant majority. This great and monstrous bluff must 
   be kept in place....... and taking non-payers to court does just that. Motorists  need to
   know.......at all times.... that we will never give up on demanding our pound of flesh 
-  I agree..... we cannot afford to throw our hand in.....and expose the bluff. God forbid such
   an insane act. We have the financial clout to hire the best lawyers and take cases to any
   appeal court and beyond. Look what happened to Beavis.....when good lawyers were on
   the case 
-  Yeah......Parking Eye shafted him good and proper ......charging him £85 for over-staying
    in a car park which offered its customers  2-3 hours of free parking......bloody amazing
-  Yes.....what a racket we're in.....especially when one considers that most motorists 
    understay.....which more than compensates for the isolated incidence of an over-stay.  No
    negative impact there as regards the so-called traffic space maximisation objective
-   Well got to go now.......thousands more PCNs to send out these week.....so I need to
    recruit more staff today
-   Bye now.....I'm off shopping for another top-of-the range Merc to add to my collection
-   Good luck with that SImon....bye
    .
  
     


   
    

PRIVATE PARKING FIRM GETS EGG ON ITS FACE AS IT LOSES A HIGH PROFILE CASE  IN COURT : A VICTORY FOR PUNCTUATION

Mrs Cammelleri's discovered to her horror that her car had been impounded for overtime parking. So would a tiny grammatical oversight be enough to save her from paying the fine ?
The offence she was alleged to have committed was a breach of a West Jefferson village parking ordinance , which stated it was illegal to park " any motor vehicle camper, trailer , farm implement and/or non-motorised vehicle " on a street for more than 24 hours. 
All bases covered ?. Well may be not.
Her defence was that her car wasn't a " motor vehicle camper ". Infact it appears that motor vehicles were not included in the list and therefore by deduction were exempt from the one day restriction.The municipal office were quick to point out that the grammatical error was inadvertant , and that it was obvious to everyone what the list set out to include. 
At the bench trial the case went against her.  The judge declared that " anyone reading the ordinance would recognise the fact that a comma was clearly missing , and that  motor vehicles were therefore included in the list......along with campers "   
But undeterred she appealed to the Twelfth Appellate District of Ohio.  Here, the three higher ranked judges held that there was ambiguity in the ordinance as it was written. Consequently , the claim for the $120 fine was dismissed. According to grammer rules , items in a series must be separated by commas. The judges concluded that reading "motor vehicle camper "  as one item did not produce an absurd result. If the village desired a different reading ( one to distiguish motor vehicles from campers ) then a comma should have been inserted.
Indeed in English law a car parking company can also be hoisted on the horns of its own petard through bad or inadequate wording on its signage. Ambiguity may well invoke the contra proferentem rule , which will often come to the aid of the weaker put-upon party.

PARKING FINES : WHY NOT TURN THEM INTO SCRATCH CARDS ?

Private parking companies could do no worse than change the existing albeit dreaded PCNs into something motorists would welcome and accept : new and exciting PCN scratchcards.
These would state what the parking violation was, along with the parking charge to be paid. However,  now there would be on offer three alternative options , one of which lies under the grey coated area to be scratched off...... should the motorists be prepared to gamble.  

Option 1.   Pay double   50 % chance

Option 2    Paying nothing   40 % chance

Option 3    We pay you the parking charge  10 % chance

The PCN scratchcard has to be returned to the company within 14 days or  face a much stiffer parking charge and court proceedings. If an unscratched PCN card is returned by letter ,  inside must be the payment for the original fine. If the scratched PCN card has revealed the pay double fine , a much more welcome cheque of course needs to accompany it.  Any motorist who sends in a winning PCN must remember to provide details of his/her bank account so that the payment can be made straightaway. Happy days indeed.

All this will bring fun and excitement to motorists who previously viewed PCNs with hatred, anger and contempt. The adrenalin will start flowing the moment the scratching takes place. The prospect of getting off scott free or perhaps even winning will be tantalisingly irresistible. The reality of having those expectations met will bring unbridled joy into a situation so often associated with doom and gloom .
                                                                                                                        
This innovative concept could make the proposed new parking bill an irrelevancy with motorists for the first time ever more than happy to pick up PCNs.

WHY DO PRIVATE PARKING COMPANIES TREAT THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH  UTTER CONTEMPT

It beggars belief that some companies like Parking Eye and Excel go out of their way to treat their customers like shit. Their business model is based on obtaining money by fraud , seizing upon the slightest transgressions with pernicious bullying tactics , relying on victim's apathy or lack of funding to fight back. They never listen to reason or legitimate excuses . Their unforgiving and aggressive attitude towards motorists is breathtaking in its zealous and  ruthless pursuit of lucrative profits.
Whereas most businesses promote customer care as one of its core mission statement objectives, private parking companies choose to have a hidden agenda to " screw the bastards " anyway they can.  Whatever happened to showing customers a little bit of sympathy and respect ?
These modern day highway robbers go out of their way to make life  difficult , awkward and miserable for the motorists. Everything they do smacks of deliberate entrapment to lead their customers astray.......to make mistakes .......and then hit them with the threats , intimidation and harassment to pay these deviously engineered albeit bogus fines. 
They are completely unhelpful in the extreme. Requests for information and/or explanations
are treated with contempt. Do they provide sticky-back tickets which adhere to the dashboard ? No. Do they choose to have a set up where payment for tickets is on exit ( not entry ) ? No. Do they allow overstayers to pay the extra on return to the car park ? Like hell they do. These are firms which have mind sets like a cruel sadistic tyrants.  
Name me one other company that " fines" its customers. Yes , customers may be asked to leave or be blacklisted. They will often be given warnings first about unacceptable behaviour. Many might well be chased for non-payment of goods and services , but in the main customers are valued because building up a strong customer base is essential if businesses are to survive in a world of highly competitive markets .
So why do private parking companies treat their customers with such contempt ? Well in many cases they have a captive market with parking spaces being at a premium. Demand will often outrun supply, and therefore if car parks are busy then it seems there is no need whatsoever to  envourage repeat custom. In other cases what does it matter if a car park is only half full. Clobbering just one unsuspecting motorist earns the same revenue as 50 paying ones. This racket has  almost become a licence to print money. Customers are like sitting ducks......fish in a barrel......there to be shot at time and time again.
The welcome sign ....such irony....always prominently displayed outside the car park ...is modelled on the " welcome to my den said the spider to the fly " scenario , or on Hannibal Lector's invitation  " let me make you dinner tonight ". Motorists are never viewed as customers but victims on which to feast.. 

INTERPRETATION OF CAR PARKING SIGNAGE

EXCEL AT SCAMMING  v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Another brazen attempt by a morally bankrupt private parking company to nail Bigot for ignoring his most recent PCN . This was issued on the basis that he failed to park within the designated lines of the bay. 

Counsel for the plaintiff (CP) : As you can see your honour from this aerial photograph Bigot's car tyre was touching the white line .....contrary to the terms and conditions he agreed to abide by....... when he entered the contract of his own free choice

B-J : Which were ....?

CP : To park the car  "within " the the lines...........which in simple language means inside  

the lines 

B-J : And the purpose behind this term ?

CP : Well , this offence amounts to using up two bays......which in simple language means double parking.......a mischief which can cost the company a great deal of money in lost revenue

B-J : Yes......this could be the case if the car park is exceptionally busy with waiting motorists desperately looking out for available spaces.....but your photo clearly demonstrates that the parking lot was empty.......hence no mischief done

CP : But it is still a breach of Excel's conditions

B-J :  And the damage to revenue is what ?

CP : Er.....er.....I can't say exactly

Judge : Well ......it seems to me that your relentless pursuit to shaft Bigot in court is nothing more than indulging in pernicious bullying tactics......and yes there has a breach but only on a petty technicality , which suggests nominal damages of £1.....with all costs of course to be met by the claimant. Case dismissed.

B-J : Don't you think £1 is a bit steep ?

Judge : Yes....on reflection I do.....change that to one penny

B-J : Your honour I am eternally grateful

Judge : And so you should be.....you cheeky little scallywag

PARKING FIRMS' TOP EXECUTIVES ENGAGE IN YET ANOTHER REVEALING PHONE CONVERSATION

- How are things ?

- Couldn't be better........it's amazing how so many motorists pay up without a whimper
- I know....I know.......why the other day we nailed a confused old man who drove into our

  car  park by mistake .......fannied around looking for an exit ......before eventually finding 

  one and leaving. Needless to say we banged him a ticket and the silly old fool paid up
  having never actually parked his car

- Well......beat this .....we issued a PCN to a guy who bought a ticket and displayed it  

  on the dashboard as instructed.......trouble was the hot sun caused the ticket to curl up so
  much so..... our rottweiler attendant... with an IQ well below 60..... couldn't read it. The 

  awkward bugger put in an appeal but our inside man at POPLA told him the fine still had 

  to be paid.....and hey presto a cheque for £100 was duly paid 

- The sucker

- The sap

- Yes we could go on for ages with these wonderful stories of how motorists get taken  

   for a ride........but I am worried about this new Parking Bill that could become law within 

   the year

- Don't worry .....parliament will still give us enough leeway to carry on screwing motorists

   left, right and centre. With parking spaces at a premium we can always resort to doubling
   the hourly charges....and let's face it by making motorists pay on entry based on their  

  wildly optimistic predictions of what time they might need.....there will be vast numbers of 
  overstayers who we can legitimately clobber. Moreover if we increase the number of  

  reserved and disabled bays many wlll choose to chance it believing the car parks to be  

  unmanned......it's like shhooting fish in a barrel

-  So good of you to reassure me

-  It's a pleasure

-  Going any way nice this year ?

-  Oh yes......just bought a million pound yacht to cruise around the mediterrean

-  Well .....have a good time....bye

-  Bye

   

PRIVATE PARKING FINES ARE NOT FAIR OR FINE AT ALL.......

Parking firms have continued to keep up the pretence that fines can be imposed upon motorists who fail to abide by their terms and conditions. " Fines " carry the connotation of criminal liability warranting compulsory payment. Such a devious and cunning ploy.
However all alleged contractual  breaches are simply and purely a civil matter , which mean that parking firms can only put in claims for liquidated damages . And as the law still stands today  these claims must be a genuine pre-estimate of the loss suffered as a direct result of the breach. The only exception being overstaying in a busy site where the only income for the operator comes from parking charges , which can in certain circumstances embody a deterrent component ( see Parking Eye v Beavis )
In pay-by-the-hour car parks which on most occasions are rarely full any liqidated damages claimed for breach of contract are still subject to existing Consumer Law regulations , along with many general principles established in Contract Law precedents.
One of these is that the injured party cannot make a profit from a alleged breach of contract, since the liqidated damages claimed must be based on a genuine pre-estimate of the loss. 
All this is perfectly fair and fine. Contract damages are meant to be compensatory. They cannot be wildl over-the-top estimates. Pre-determined damages cannot be set at an  amount that will put the injured party in a better position after the breach , than the party would be in if all the contractual terms had been performed.
So how in God's name can a fixed sum parking charge of £100 be a genuine pre-estimate of a loss , when a serious breach of a term carries the same punitive consequences as a minor and petty breach. How can a five minute overstay give rise to the same claim for damages as a 5 hour overstay. How can a £100 demand for compensation be genuine when the breach , such as failure to display correctly paid-for ticket, causes no loss of income to the parking firm whatsoever. 
But now let's look at the real lie and total lack of genuineness in their estimate of their losses. Usually they kick off with a standard £70 PCN. Is this genuine ? I think not. By offering a £30 discount for prompt payment suggests otherwise given that £40 is beginning to approach the correct estimate. Motorists who send in say a cheque for £15 to cover  alleged losses often don't get chased up for the rest. Why ? Well firstly , the company may still have made a profit out of the scam , and secondly the motorist could argue ( quite successfully in court ) the duty imposed upon firms to mitigate their losses has surely been achieved by this appropriate and fair payment..     
Private parking firms will no doubt continue to flout the law with utter contempt. Never ones to willingly mitigate their losses , they prefer to compound and esculate them with the help of dodgy debt collection agencies. They continue to find ways to deceive and entrap motorists into making mistakes. They resort to countless scams to boost their already obscene profits. They act without sympathy , compassion and forgiveness. They muscle in on supermarket sites on the pretext of resolving a traffic flow problem , which probably never existed in the first place. All part of a ruthless business model to exploit the thousand of motorists , who are prone to poor timekeeping and keying in incorrect car registration details. 
If these morally bankrupt operators were committed to basing parking charges on genuine pre-estimates of loss , then they were be forced to adopt a sliding scale of parking charges ranging from £2 to £20.......but no more. If there was ever an industry which seemingly has a licence to commit fraud ,  then the private parking industry stands head and shoulders above despised loan sharks and shameful big name banks.    
   

INCORRECT REGISTRATION MEANS PCNs BEING ISSUED FOR PARKING WITHOUT A VALID TICKET .........BUT THIS RAISES A CURIOUS POINT OF LAW 

When a motorist for whatever reason keys in the wrong car registration plate details but pays the correct money either a valid contract has been entered into or not.
Car parking firms can not say in one breath a contract has been entered into but the ticket is unfortunately invalid , because if a valid contract has been entered into then by definition the ticket has to be valid.
Moreover , if the ticket is deemed to be invalid by failure to carry out a precondition of the offer that correct CRP details are deemed to be an essential requirement to establish an unconditional acceptance of the offer, then by definition no contract has come into existence on which to allege any subsequent breach.

How private car parking firms have not been questioned in court over this curious point in law beggars belief. 





   

PRIVATE PARKING COMPANY'S TOP EXECUTIVE TELLS BIGOT WHAT'S WHAT IN A SHORT SNAPPY LETTER......

Bigot ,
Your blog with its outrageous articles in a disgrace. It's full of spurious allegations and wicked lies. How dare you !
Companies like mine run a legitimate busines where we look after the majority of honest, decent , rule-abiding motorists by hammering the selfish minority who refuse to carry out their  part of the contract.....which they freely entered into. If I had my way I would have all the rule breakers severely flogged as opposed to letting them off with payment of a modest and measly fine.
The undeniable fact is that these miscreant motorists seize the opportunity not to pay the fine , which causes companies like mine to spend a great deal of time and money.......making all manner of threats...... to keep the montrous bluff alive.
Why in God's name was clamping banned by parliament ? What is the world coming to when profiteering gravy trains are brought to a grinding halt ?  Clamping always got the buggers to pay up without any fuss or risk of costly legal disputes. 
Now that you are on our hit list you had better watch your step.

Yours spitefully and with menace,
                       Simon Mega-Bucks

                            
                        GOTCHA  PARKING  
                            SERVICES


                We are the new boys on the block and 
                our main goal of course is to catch you
                motorists out.

                By using advanced big brother technology,
                non-user friendly ticket machines , terms 
                and conditions the devil himself would have
                been proud of , and ridiculously tiny parking
                bays...........we are all set up to pounce upon
                error-prone motorists to deluge them with 
                our new and exciting , colourfully designed,
                visually stunning 

                                   GOTCHA  PCNs 

            These money-grabbing documents should all
                 be taken in good spirit. So please regard each 
                 PCN as a reminder to keep promises, to avoid 
                 mistakes and not to stray from the straight  
                 and righteous path.

                 In heaven you will pay for your cock-ups here
                 on earth , but unfortunately Gotcha Parking 
                 Services can't afford to wait. We demand that
                 you pay us straightway for your parking sins. 
                 Patience and forgiveness are not virtues we
                 aspire to.... or ever will. 


                                     HAPPY PARKING   
                 
                   
                 

PARKING  OFFENCE :  OVERSTAYING
                                                                                                                                                     EXCEL AT SCAMMING v. BIGOT -JOHNSON (2018)

Low level car park. Heavy thunderstorms. Exit impassable. Cars stuck. Overstay PCNs issued in the hundreds. Bigot adamant he wasn't going to pay.  Yet another day in court.




Counsel for the plaintiff : Your Honour...this man....Excel's nemisis.....overstayed his 2 hour parking ticket by 27 hours and 14 minutes. His provocative behaviour and blatant defiance justifies the parking charge the company imposed upon him. Motorists like him cannot be allowed to flaunt the rules and repeatedly breach parking terms and conditions.
B-J : Allow me to point out I had returned to my car........well within the 2 hours ......only to find the car park flooded......and the exit area under 4 foot of water
CP : Come on.....get real......they was a heavy thunderstorm that day.....a few inches of water......nothing that a car couldn't overcome. You and hundreds of other drivers decided against returning to your cars because you didn't want to get your shoes wet. I have photographic evidence here .....your Honour.....that shows the depth of water in the car park barely reaching the wheel trims
B-J : It was a deluge.....the situation was getting worse by the minute....
CP :  The ticket clearly stated you  were to exit the car park by 3.13pm.....which you didn't
B-J : But the site has ceased to be car park.......it was a bloody big pond.......the terms and conditions don't apply to a pond
CP :  Don't be ridiculous.......it was still a car park albeit one under a few inches of water
B-J : But the photo shows ducks happpily swimming ........indeed the flooding was a direct result of the nearby river overflowing its banks......why I even saw one motorist sitting on top of his car catching fish with his nearly purchased rod......the whole place was awash with pond life......the site had become .....on that fateful day......part of the river
Judge : I've heard enough.....this subsequent and unforeseen event had clearly made it impossible for Bigot.....and hundreds of others to fulfil their contractual obligations. In other words the contracts were frustrated by the physical impossibility of getting to and driving their cars way. Case dismissed.....and what's more....... drivers who had ben bullied into paying these £100 parking charges  must be immediately reimbursed 
CP : My client is going to ape-shit when I inform him of this ruling
B-J : That's music to my ears.........
Judge : And mine too...

PARKING FINES : SO MANY  COULD BE AVOIDED IF PRIVATE PARKING COMPANIES ACTED IN A DECENT HONEST AND RESPONSIBLE WAY 

Decent honest private car parking companies operate a sensible, fair and just system to the benefit of all motorists. There is an entry barrier by which a ticket is acquired to gain access. No need of any requirement to enter vehicle plate registration details.  There is no looking around for an available parking bay because when the car park is full the entry barrier cannot be activated.
Moreover , the motorist does not have to predict what number of hours he needs to purchase. Predictions are real profit generators for the company : either they are over generous which inevitable leads to overpayment , or they are under-estimates leading to overstays and nasty savage PCNs. Motorists are therefore on a hiding to nothing. 
In respectable car parks , the motorist only has to pay for the actual time of his/her stay , by entering his ticket on his/her return into a machine which then calculates the tariff, takes the money and validates the ticket to activate the exit barrier. Beautiful , fair and involving no loss to both parties.
Why this barrier system is not adopted by the parking pirates is obvious. The potential loss of revenue from saving the motorist from over-payments, overstays and miskeying in car registration details is huge. This customer-focussed system does not generate sufficient profits. Motorists are error prone and this human condition needs to be exploited , Forcing them into into making bad or wild predictions , and careless mistakes when keying in car registratiuon details ,  is a what their evil business model is all about.
Ticket systems need to be simple and fair , having the customers' interests in mind.  They should not be designed to exploit the motorist out of their unsatiable greed for profit. Rogue parking firms are nothing more than vindictive , ruthless, money-grabbing bastards , which I hope and pray will be brought to task when new parking law legislation comes into force.
In the meantime , my advice is to overpay rather than overstay. Take great care when keying in those seven characters. Challenge each and every PCN where injustice can be established, and if feel you were in the wrong..... only pay a reasonable sum , which clearly equates to the actual loss the company could legitimately claim. 

                                                   
                 PARKING NOTICE

 A modern progressive private parking company have 
 taken up the option of £30,000 per annum rent on a 25 
 year lease to convert and use this scrubby piece of land
 into a 100 bay parking lot. And boy do we at Nightmare Parking Services intend to get our money back PLUS MORE.
  

 A parking tariff of just £1 an hour will earn us in a 
 typical 10 hour day ( 50% occupancy) around £500 ,
 and over the year well in excess of £180,000. Happy 
 days indeed.

 But the best bit is with minimum outlay and overheads 
 we can install 

•   big brother camera surveillance
•   difficult to use ticket machines  

to boost our earnings considerably , from simply issuing our customers with nasty PCNs. These bogus fines are expected to represent a mouth-watering 75% of our total revenue. Unbelievable isn't ? And it's all down to you motorists being error-prone , dumb and stupid.  

Looking forward to emptying your wallets

Parking Outside Bays  
                                                                                     NIGHTMARE PARKING SERVICES v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Bigot has just bought himself a new very expensive top-of-the-range car.  This was his pride and joy. However he had to spend well over £4000 on an urgent respray , following an earlier visit to the site , when the car had got badly scratched. This time he was determined not to suffer the same fate. The solution was simple : take up 4 parking spaces. Not surprising surveillance photos captured this alleged violation and so came the inevitable PCN. 



Counsel for the plaintiff  (CP) : Your honour.....I have photographic evidence here of this outrageous bit of parking. Four bays this selfish man used up.....severely limiting the opportunities for other motorists to park up. Behaviour like this needs to be stopped.....my client has every right to issue Bigot with this £100 PCN .....and justice demands that the money should be paid
B-J : Hold on here......just look at the photo .....the bays are no narrow it is impossible when the car park is full to open any door without banging it into the vehicle next to yours . 
CP : Look at the size of this man your Honour.......he's far too fat to slide in and out of a parked car. These bays are wide enough to cater for people of normal height and weight
B-J : Well , I have a right to protect my car from criminal and/or accidental damage. The bays are deliberately designed to be small for obvious reasons. Firstly , more bays equal more revenue potential. Narrow bays enable vast sums of money to be made by issuing PCNs for double parking..... a violation which is not always the fault of the driver.
CP : But you used up four bays 
B-J : That's because the bays aren't long enough either. OK for Minis perhaps but not for cars like mine
CP : I'm sorry..... but these excuses wont wash......you used up 4 bays.... but only purchased one ticket
B-J:  Ah.... but I paid for all four bays
CP : No you didn't ...... one ticket entiles you to use one bay only 
B-J :  Sorry to correct you here......I believe your AVRC records show I stayed for one hour 
CP :  Yes....that's correct
B-J:  Well , I had a choice .......either I bought 4 one-hour tickets .....or just one 4-hour ticket.
Expediency suggested the latter.....so either way I used up just 4 hours of bay time ....and  please note...... I paid for that time in full
Judge : How clever of you Bigot......your logic and your maths cannot be questioned.....and as a classic car driver myself I fully recognise and understand your concern over your pride and joy. Judgement it seems must go in favour of the defendant. Case dismissed......
CP :  What......how can that be right ?
Judge : Your client was not out of pocket. No loss had been incurred by Bigot's inventive solution to his problem. So why not tell Nightmare Parking Services to provide bigger and safer bays to cater for all motorists .............especially those who have bought shiny new expensive cars......... making sure that cases like this will never crop up again

 AT SMART ARSE PARKING SERVICES  
 WE HAVE COME TO APPRECIATE AND VALUE  ALL OUR CUSTOMERS           

THEREFORE THE MANAGEMENT WOULD LIKE TO OFFER THEIR WARM AND HEARTFELT THANKS TO MANY THOUSANDS OF MOTORISTS WHO HAVE

• Overpaid by virtue of paying for more hours than they actually needed
• Overpaid by not having the exact coinage when purchasing a ticket
• An appalling sense of time having overstayed by just a few minutes
• An inability to read and/or understand the terms and conditions listed on our notice boards
•  An inability to key in the correct registration plate details at our ticket machines
• No backbone or guts whatsoever to challenge PCNs no matter how unjust these demands for money are 
• Continued to keep revisiting our site knowing full well the risks involved

                                HOPING TO ALL YOU AGAIN VERY SOON

  

VIOLATiON OF PARKING TERMS AND CONDITIONS
                                                                                        SMART ARSE PARKING SOLUTIONS v. BIGOT-JOHNSON  (2018)

One important hospital visit . A most unusual parking violation. An unforgiving PCN. But another resounding court success for Bigot.

Counsel for the plaintiff (CP) : Bigot......as co-driver and owner of the vehicle BRN 65 ZTX you violated the parking terms and conditions by blatantly obstructing access to an available bay......to the detriment of other motorists seeking to find one. Indeed , we have an aerial photograph of you sprawled out in an unoccupied parking bay. This was taken by one of the many on-site drones........such is the extent and capability of big-brother technology now used in modern day car parking sites 
B-J : I was saving the bay so my daughter ,,,,, who took over the driver's seat...... could at last park up. We entered the hospital car park at 10 am and had been driving around in vain looking to snatch an available space ...,,,but others kept jumping in before us. My wife was in great pain and was in need of urgent and immediate medical attention
CP : Yes....yes.....yes.....my client has heard all this clap trap many times before. These sob stories don't cut any ice with Smart Arse Parking Solutions you know 
B-J : Had we not got her to A&E as we did....... she might well have died.......a burst appendix is both serious and life-threatening
CP :  Well....it's my client's contention that....if other motorists play by the rules and are able to meet our terms and conditions without difficulty , then why should you be exempt from this transgression
B-J : A life was at stake..... goddamnit
CP : Yes....that may well have been the case.....but our business model relies on targeting types like you who fail to adhere to my client's complex rules and procedures at his facilities
B-J : Your Honour......this company operates an extortion racket the scale of which is growing at an alarming weight. Their current business model  which involves expanding into hospital sites has become an invidious attack on thousands of hospital patients and employees. Not only that .....these car park pirates then intimidate motorists with debt collection firms , who threaten usurious fees in pursuit of highly questionable parking fines.....all backed up with additional threats of court hearings and expensive legal costs. 
CP : LIsten Bigot....there is nothing wrong with my client acting as judge, jury and executioner. It's all stated quite clearly in their parking terms and conditions
Judge : Hold on.....I'm the judge here......and as a believer in natural justice , I believe your client's iniquitous business model is one that offers no justice whatsoever to the motorists that use their site facilities. It is repulsive and repugnant. It stinks infact....and It is on those grounds that I find for the defendant.  The claim is manifestly unreasonable and therefore unenforceable
CP : But what about the Supreme Court ruling in the Beavis case ?
Judge : That case has no relevance to this one , which can easily be distinguished on the facts. Cases like this will always be judged on its merits......and it is the defendant which merits the court's protection from Smart Arse's litany of dirty practices. Case dismissed.