Saturday, 9 June 2018

          EXCEL AT SCAMMING v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Bigot was livid when Excel had decided to narrow the bays in order to squeeze in more parking spaces. By doing so the company was encouraging motorists to park outside the lines or risk being unable to open the car doors fully.  But Bigot had other ideas. Once parked up ,  he enlisted the help of other sympathetic motorists to heave the car over onto its side This way the car was well inside the designated parking area, but Excel were having none of it. They issued Bigot with a PCN for parking a vehicle in an illegal fashion,  not in accordance with its rules. As expected the dispute went to court. 

Counsel for the plaintiff :  Your Honour......
as you can see from the photographic
evidence......Bigot had parked his car in
an improper fashion , contrary to the terms
and conditions ....all of which were clearly displayed on the company's giant noticeboard sited right beside the ticket machine. The man is a nuisance and a 
bloody menace.....
B-J : I strongly object to the use of the word "bloody"......it's an unwarranted expletive ...a term which should not be used in a court of law
Judge : I agree.......but you're happy with the two labels " nuisance " and " menace "
B-J :  Yes indeed....the fact that the company sees me in this way is truly wonderful......but nowhere in the signage does it say that vehicles have to be parked up on four wheels. The use of the "word " improper implies many things but not when a car is parked in such a way as to give motorists , who might park in either of the adjoining bays, the maximum space possible to enable all 4 doors to open fully........so they can exit and re-enter their cars in an easy and comfortable way.
Judge : I admire your altruistic attitude and the sacrifice you have gone to to provide a more pleasurable parking experience for the users of this site. I myself drive a Hummer .....which I might add is a bummer of a vehicle to park ........even in sites which provide generous spaces. Deliberately narrowing the bays smacks of selfishness and vindictive greed. Case dismissed.......claimant to pay all costs
CP : I protest.....Execl's boss is going to have my guts for garters
Judge : Oh dear..........but that's life when you choose to represent and work for intolerant , unsympathetic and nasty organisations like private oparking companies.  Good day to you sir. And Bigot.....how about meeting up with me  ( and Sir Greg Knight ) for a pub lunch and pint at the usual watering hole ? It's my turn to pay.
B-J : Yes.....looking forward to it.......see you both soon



                 








                                        

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