Sunday, 18 March 2018


With so many private car parks operating AVPR systems there is no opportunity for the motorists to question , query, challenge or amend the terms and conditions imposed upon them. This form of automated contracting enables these mercenary companies the to exploit their unfettered bargaining power to the full. The severe bargaining inequality that currently exists has of course been relentlessly abused , so much so the whole situation has become increasingly inconscionable. Motorists have been screwed in their tens of thousand again and again.
In the USA these imposed agreements are known as Contracts of Adhesion. Motorists are stuck with them. They must accept their terms and conditions if they wish to park there. With street parking spaces not available as an option , motorists have no choice but to park in the one and only site available. In such circumstances the weaker party finds him /herself with Hobson's choice , which is having no choice at all. So how do the private parking companies go about abusing their extreme bargaining power to such unforgiving extremes ?
  • dressing up the PCNs to look like proper fines ( suggesting criminal liability )
  • never coming clean about the fact that a PCN is either a speculative invoice and/or claim for liquuidated damages 
  • parking charges are never about recovery of actual losses cause by alleged breaches; they are purely penal and punitive in nature designed to earn the these money grabbing companies vast profits
  • every dirty trick imaginable is repeatedly put into practice to snare and entrap unsuspecting motorists into making mistakes , by which breach of contract is then alleged 
  • PCNs are issued even though the alleged/technical breach causes no  actual loss whatsoever to the company
  • no matter how serious or petty the alleged breach is  , the same excessively high fixed sum parking charge is applied
  • in cases where a there is 5 minute overstay as opposed to a 5 hour overstay the parking charge does not reflect the fact that one motorist is far less guilty than the other
  • even when motorists are faced with the this take-it-or-leave-it choice , only to choose the latter , they will still receive a PCN having entered and left the car park without paying any tariff
  • parking companies know full well that the motorist hasn't the will or the financial muscle to challenge an illegal PCN in court , and so it is easy for them to bully the motorist into paying up 
  • even when County Court judgements go in favour of motorists these evil companies will still continue to issue the same kind of PCNs , knowing that these court decisions do not set binding precedents
  • no excuses or mitigating circumstances are accepted , even when the motorist has a genuine , honest and innocent reason for his/her transgression
  • cancellation of a PCN is an absolute no-no 
  • appeals can only be made to non-independant bodies , who are closely associated with or in cahoots with the private parking companies 
  • difficult questions and/or requests for further information by motorists contesting PCNs have and always will be be completely ignored

Indeed , despite all the worthy aims of consumer law and safe-guarded princilples of contract law , private parking companies ride roughshod over hard-pressed motorists. Corporate power in this despicable industry has crushed the opportunity for the individual to negotiate fairer terms. Why the law has not recognised the need for "unconscionability " to be a complete defence beggars belief. Certain terms should by rights be declared void in order to bring about a fairer balance of bargaining power. Motorists if asked whether their assent is willingly given , the answer would be a resounding " no". They are always hit by the unfair surprise of a £100 parking charge when the breach has caused no actual loss to the company. They are often astounded by the lack of notice , or the number of important terms which are deliberately misleading...... or which so often appear in small print.                Motorists should be entitled by law to enter privately managed car parks with reasonable expectations , but what should these be ? Well , firstly not to have the parking rules applied in the strictest way. There will always be circumstances which warrant a far more lenient approach , especially when the transgressions involve minor or innocent mistakes ,  made by motorists who are genuine and honest. When a person receives a £100 parking charge in circumstances which seem grossly unfair , it comes as a shock to one's conscience. It 's perceived as unjust.......and rightly so.
Moreover , it is totally wrong for motorists to have to wait for... and fight for..... justice in the courts. Private parking companies  should from the outset treat customers with goodwill, consideration and respect. But hey....that would be like asking the Devil Incarnate to adopt Christian and altruistic values. Fat bloody chance ! 

So welcome to the hellish and nightmarish world of private parking companies. 

Thursday, 15 March 2018


Another post delivery. Another letter . Another PCN . Another "  Why don't you stick this PCN right up where the sun don't shine " reply. Another court case. Another chance for Bigot to do what he does best. 

Council for the plaintiff :  This reprobate Bigot-Johnson entered my client's car park and then left after 50 minutes ......but true to form he failed to purchase a ticket . Non payment in my book equates to theft : receiving the benefit of being able to park a car but then opting to do a runner. It's time for Bigot to face the full force of the law and pay the PCN in full plus all our costs for bringing this dispute to court.
B-J :  The £100 charge can only apply if I had parked my car in one of the bays.....however this proved impossible because the car park was full. I spent the whole 50 minutes driving around looking for an available parking space but to no avail. So I gave up and left the site.
C-J : Your Honour.......this is a monstrous lie. No one drives around a car park for that long.
B-J : Well I did..........since I'm not one for giving up 
C-J :  It's obvious he must have parked up . Our records show other cars entering not long after Bigot did and they had no difficulty parking up and purchasing tickets.
B-J : Yes , all these bastards kept sneaking in and beating me to the few spaces which suddenly became available.  On two occasions drivers actually crashed into me to get their noses infront. Not surprisingly.... fierce verbal altercations followed , whereupon I felt compelled to get out of my car and throw a massive tantrum. 
CP :  Your Honour......just listen to the man. He's a maniac..... and a thief
Judge : But can you prove he actually parked his car in one of the bays ?
CP : No........but he must have........ given the time he was there. Anyway ,  the terms and conditions stipulate that a ticket must be purchased within 20 minutes of entering the site. A requirement that cannot be ignored.
B-J :  Well , I couldn't see the point of leaving the car park only to re-enter the site to try again
Judge : That's makes good sense
CP : But surely on the balance of probabilities he must have parked up ?
B-J : Your Honour.....I have brought with me to court the two drivers I threw a wobbly at to vouch on my behalf that I was actively looking for a parking bay  . They were more than happy to do so since they hate private parking companies more than they do me....... especially after picking up PCNs from this scumbag of a company..... for not correctly displaying their tickets on the dashboard. 
Judge : Well, it seems to me were telling the truth. Therefore I cannot see that a charge for driving around a car park in any way can be a genuine pre-estimate of loss , as opposed to actual parking. Since no parking space was used , Smart Arse Parking Solutions cannot prove they incurred any actual loss of income. Case dismissed.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018


Bigot was on a crusade. He wanted Excel to drag him back into court simply to humiliate the company yet again , and expose their fraudulent practices to the world at large , such was his fervent desire to pursue justice for all motorists. This time he decided to purchase an orange ticket , despite having parked up in a blue bay. Inevitably he received the PCN demanding £100 for this gross violation of the company's latest addition to its parking terms and conditions.

Counsel for the plaintiff (CP ) : This time Bigot... Excel has got you by the short and curlies.... 
B-J : In your dreams......
CP : You failed to purchase a blue ticket which was necessary for parking up in the blue zone ? An orange ticket only entitles you to park up in one of the orange bays. 
B-J :  This scam is a complete con.....all Excel needs to know was that a ticket was bought for the correct money .....all this orange and blue nonsense is yet  another requirement solely designed to entrap motorists.... and in particular colour blind ones...... into making mistakes........ given the fact there were 24 colour zones each requiring the purchase of a ticket at a particular designated machine.    
CP : But you broke one of the contractual conditions, the moment your money entered the coin slot
B-J : An irrelevant transgression ......
CP : This was a grave and serious violation which puts the staff on site to a great deal of trouble and inconvenience having to register the hundreds of cars  which have parked up incorrectly
B- J : But does it matter where a car has chosen to park up ? I think not. This is a pointless term and condition which no decent private parking company would ever consider introducing ....let alone enforce 
CP True......but Excel have a right to intoduce whatever terms it likes.......especially those which will boost the number of PCNs issued each and every week ........Moreover the company has a right not to act in a sympathetic and lenient way be an out-and-out stickler for the rules
B-J : You mean.... the right to go about the illegal business of ruthlessly extorting money from innocent unsuspecting motorists .........whose transgessions cause no loss of income whatsoever to the company
CP : Yes could put it that way........
B-J : Well , demanding  £100.....using threats and intimidation......amounts to fraud.  Firstly , each colour specific ticket machine should be conveniently sited as opposed to being miles away from where it should be. Secondly , Excel clearly set out make its greens and blues almost indistinguishable from each other ......also its yellows and well as making it almost impossible to distinguish its pinks from purples. 
CP : Colour charts were displayed all over the site along with detailed maps of the car park..... each colour zone was clearly marked out along with the exact location of the particular ticket machine that had to be used 
B-J : But all the small print was unreadable......and making correct colour identification was virtually impossible 
CP : Such excuses don't cut any ice with Excel....motorists ought to carry magnifying glasses on their person..... and concentrate harder on what they are meant to be doing........if they lack map reading skills that's not Excel's fault 
Judge : I'm shocked and appalled by this utter nonsense  ......for Excel to argue that charging a motorist   ( who has paid the correct fair ) an additional £100 is completely unjustified .... it all beggars belief. Therefore this £100 parking charge is without doubt wicked and demand such money in these circumstances is tantamount to a fraud. Case dismissed
CP :  But my client needs £20 to cover the costs of manning the car park and issuing the PCN
Judge : Then perhaps the claim for damages should have reflected this much smaller sum  and not be set at extortionate level of £100.  So just tell your client I have no time or sympathy for his greedy, money grabbing , thieving , racketeering operations...... indeed Excel's business model is one that the devil himself would been proud please leave the courtroom..........and let me get on with giving Smart Arse Parking Services their comeuppence...... since their case is next on my hit list

Monday, 12 March 2018


Cowboy parking companies by any notion of justice ought to be prosecuted under the 2006 Fraud Act . These highway robbers commit contrary ss 1 (2) (a)  and 2 in that they falsely claim they are entitled to tenfold the actual losses resulting by an alleged breach of their terms and conditions. Not only do they falsely represent this crucial fact , which in most instances involves no loss whatsoever, they also use misleading and deceptive practices to intimidate motorists into paying.... what they are led to believe are... fines. The PCN's are deliberately set out to mimic those issued by local uuathorities in order to hoodwink the motorists into believing that they are genuine fines , which under criminal law have to be paid.  Moreover,  private parking companies not only commit fraud , but their actions also border on theft , in that money is obtained by deception and/or menaces and threats. 
Why this dirty practice has been allowed to continue for so long beggarslief. Perhaps previous governments have a dislike for motorists , happy to turn a blind eye to how this corrupt unregulated industry operates. But one thing is certain : the DVLA on behalf of the government pockets milions (£)  given the vast number of requests made by these fraudsters to obtain the personal details of motorists'  names and addresses. With each request costing £2.50 really big money is involved,  and the DVLA seems complicit in their illegal shananegans. Perhaps the motto of never bite the hand that feeds you is one which the government has seemingly taken on board.
A PCN is without a doubt a " lie ". It is not a notice or a parking charge. It is in most instances a speculative invoice. In other cases it is a claim for damages resulting from an alleged breach of contract. It is in essence a document that sets out to punish alleged transgressors , whilst generating huge profits at the motorists' expense. A breach of contract is purely a civil matter, not a criminal offence. In situations like over-staying , parking companies should be entitled to recover the lost revenue involved,  plus the small cost of a DVLA enquiry and sending out a claim by post. So why the Supreme Court introduced the notion that a claim can also include a " deterrent element " seemingly contradicts all previous legal precedents on unenforceable penalty clauses , along with a whole raft of important  "protections " found in consumer legislation. This departure from the basic principle of not allowing the injured party to make a profit from a breach of contract only seems justified , when serial long-term overstayers have a profound negative impact on the parking company's traffic space maximisation objective.
Nevertheless, although this authorative precedent has helped the cause of these fraudsters  the essential principles of contract law , alongwith the cardinal protections found in The Unfair Contract Terms Act ,  still remain intact , Thankfully , because cases are often judged on their merits , many will be distinguished on the facts from the appalling precedent laid down by the Supreme Court in Parking Eye v. Beavis. 
What motorists need to be aware of is that private parking companies are in the business of implementing a very persuasive and convincing bluff.   These rogue outfits use or threaten to use the County Court system as a monstrous bluff , with the sole aim to dishonestly milk unsuspecting motorists of their hard earned cash.  Moreover, should a dispute go all the way and end up in court, these companies are simply hoping and praying decisions go in their favour.  Thankfully CC judges have recognised the damages claimed  often go way beyond actual losses incurred , especially in cases which involve motorists paying the correct parking fee but failing to adhere to rules , which lead to no actual loss ever being incurred. 
Sadly , all CC decisions lack binding authority, which means in effect that going to court is like taking part in a lottery.  Of course , these multi-million pound bully boys are very aware of this fact , and have the financial muscle to pursue more and more cases in court to keep this. monstrous bluff alive.  
As yet the law has failed to declare their dirty practices as illegal , although they clearly are.  So despite these fraudsters receiving bloody noses in the past , they relentlessly carry on ignoring these defeats , knowing that they are at liberty to continue their racketeering operations with impunity. 
Motorists , quite understandably , don't want the hassle, stress .misery and expense that goes with challenging these illegal fines. The easy option is to pay up , and to berate themselves for their foolish mistakes and misfortunes. And these parking cowboys rely on such fear , cowardice and apathy to their financial advantage. Motorists in their eyes are like sacrificial lambs to be butchered and slaughtered repeatedly , to be ripped off over and over again. 
The Parking Prankster has attempted to do a job which the government should have done years ago  : and that is to help the small motorists take on the big evil money-grapping goliaths of the parking industry. The man is a true David with a sling in every sense of the word. Now it is time for the government to step in and kill these goliaths for once and for all. Why should a motorist , who is wrongly harrassed for money , and who in reality owes these companies nothing , be obliged to risk his savings by having to stand up alone against them. Surely it is the responsibility of the government to act on the victim's behalf. Thankfully , Sir Greg Knight is one politician who is now willing to take over the baton from the legendary Parking Prankster. ......the original knight in shining armour .


Saturday, 10 March 2018


No one disputes the fact that there are selfish, inconsiderate, cheating motorists who inflict mischief and distress on others , not to mention defrauding car parking companies of their essential ticket revenue. Indeed , these companies provide a valuable service enabling motorists to park up in areas where street parking is very limited or non-existant. And yes , these car parks need to be managed properly , especially in relation to tackling the problem of repeated and/or long-term over-staying , so that free spaces are quickly made available to cater for other motorists hoping to park up.  
Nevertheless , motorists also need to be treated with consideration and respect and to have their custom welcomed and appreciated.. In makes good business sense to build up customer loyality and to have a reputation that encourages motorists to revisted these sites, often to the benefit of the local shops and community. Customers provide an important and lucrative income stream to private parking companies, but one which is clearly not enough. The loss of repeated custom appears to be of no consequence given the vast number of potentially new , unsuspecting customers ready and willing to use their sites.  
The reality of a £100 PCN is that it represents 50 customers in one foul swoop ,  by simply isuing a speculative invoice.  With no further loss of parking bays involved, a motorist therefore can be made to pay for a his/stay 50 times over , because of some dodgy pretext on which to raise a highly suspect PCN.  
I can think of no other business that treats its customer with such distain and contempt. To these companies,  a motorist represents a sacrificial cash cow to be butchered and bled dry. No room for compassion , sympathy and understanding : just relentless intimidation and harassment until they pay up. Using the same business model as loan sharks , firms like Eccel Parking Services and Parking Eye keep increasing the debt and of course the severity of the threats,  until their victims eventually give in. 
Why much needed legislation to curb the dirty practices carried out by rogue parking operators has taken so long in coming is beyond me. The racket has be going on for years without any proper form of regulation and control. The BPA is a joke , along with POPLA. Their priority is to protect the interests of their members , ie. private parking companies , and they do that with great zeal and relish. The fact that a large majority of motorists have been exploited by these dodgy PCNs goes unnoticed and unaddressed. Just a few token appeals are allowed.
These companies have no moral compass , no guiding ethical values to adhere to , no soul and certainly no conscience. Even when a motorist wins in court to establish a precedent that a PCN was wrongly issed , does the company elect to refund the money already raked in from all previous victims of this outrageous scam ?  No bloody chance. In fact these bastards will ignore that ruling in the hope that tomorrow's motorists remain blissfully unaware of it.... and dutifully hand over money for the same scam. 

Welcome to the world of modern day racketeeering. 

Wednesday, 7 March 2018


This recent high profile libel case immediately captured the public's interest and attention , as it involved the plaintiff , namely the chief executive of an infamous private parking company , taking umbrage at one of Bigot-Johnson's blog postings. The defendant had described him as an " evil  " money grabbing bastard who was morally bankrupt , and who epitomised  " the dildo "  that fitted the sphincter ring of the private parking industry ".
The following extract from the trial's transcript covered a critical stage in the proceedings as Bigot was clearly gaining the upper hand.

Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot ....these comments you made about my client have clearly damaged his good reputation.....possibly beyond repair
Bigot : Evil bastards have no good reputation to protect......such people , like Mr. Clampett , have become infamous over time.... because of their vindictive , mean, evil , dirty practices. 
Hitler was an evil bastard.....and so are all the people who manage cowboy parking companies , the worst of which is Excel At Scamming
CP : My client is a respectable business man who runs a legitimate business trying to manage the traffic flow into and out of his car parks , trying to achieve traffic space maximisation for the benefit of all motorists
B-J : What a load of bollocks. His business model is all about customer exploitation, demanding money with menaces, and persecuting the old and vulnerable in particular , who are too frail and feeble to stand up against highway robbers like him
CP :  In a modern capitalist society you are allowed to make whatever profit you can...
B-J : But not by dirty practices , deception , inciting fear and blatant intimidation
Judge :  But what about the comment that described in effect Mr. Clampett as a dildo ?
Can you justify that ?
B-J : Too right I can. The man is a prick....a complete knob.....someone who is only interested in shafting motorists.
Judge : Clearly an appropriate analogy
CP : Objection....we have not established any truth behind these vile andmalicious client has often given money away to good charitable causes
B-J : You mean his passed on a tiny fraction of his ill-gotten gains no doubt in an attempt to earn himself a knighthood....and of course to deflect a mounting tide of criticism so often coming his way
Judge : So Bigot I take it you are not relying on truth as your defence
B-J : Not entirely . Although it could provide a complete and absolute exoneration for my actions, I realise the onus is on me to prove the truth. This could be done but only by  getting statements from the tens of thousands of motorists who have been shafted by this mean, vindictive , evil-minded prick.  No..... my defence relies on honest opinion , which has replaced the phrase fair comment. These views are my honest opinions , all of which have an apparent basis from the shared beliefs within the motoring community.....opinions which all right-thinking, decent, law abiding motorists currently hold
Judge  Yes...I too am a motorist who believes that parking cowbugs are total scumbags
CP : I object...
Judge : Object all you like....... because criticism of Mr. Clampett is a matter of public interest , especially in light of the fact that a newly proposed Parking Bill stems from widespread condemnation of the dirty practivces tossers like your client have been allowed to get away with for far too many years.  
CP : But ...I have many more questions for BIgot to answer
Judge : No further questions fullstop. Case dismissed. There's so such thing as a person of good reputation who operate this appalling racket of extorting money from innocent motorists. All costs to be met by your client .....someone no doubt who is known to his criminal associates as possibly..... Percy... John Thomas...... Dick.......
B-J : ...But more likely Rod or Nobby.......

Tuesday, 6 March 2018


The quest to issue more and more PCNs continues as these rogue outfits look to dream up another raft of parking violations , just simply to increase their already considerable profits. The more scams they can get away with on unsuspecting motorists , who are more than willing to pay than fight, the bigger and better the salaies and bonuses the directors can look forward to.
So here are a few ideas these highway robbers have ( as yet ) overlooked :

Parking a car

  • in a skoo-wiff position
  • that is in need of an urgent clean
  • with the radio still on
  • with its wing mirrors still out
  • that is hideously painted ( an eyesore )
  • for the purposes of sex or any other forms of questionable behaviour
  • with the handbrake not properly on 
  • simply to have a nap
  • with an unattended animal or child left inside
  • that is leaking oil 
  • in any open space or unmarked area 
  • that is unroadworthy   ( eg bald tyres or defective handbrake ) 
  • which lowers the image and up-market reputation of the site 
  • with the lights on
  • in an unsatisfactory and/or dangerous manner causing a nuisance to others
  • with tasteless fluffly dice dangling over the dashboard
  • in a blue bay with a yellow ticket or vice-versa
  • too close to an adjacent car 
  • on a lovely warm day when one should be walking to the shops

Friday, 2 March 2018


A hurriedly convened meeting of the rogue cowboys took place at The Ritz in London as worried executives were now having to face up to the reality of having a multitude of legal restrictions placed upon their highly suspect business activities

That tosser Greg Knight ought to be shot
- Too bloody right......what the hell is he doing intoducing this Parking Bill ? Hasn'y he got
   any feelings for us ? This Bill could put an end to the numerous scams we've getting away
   with for years. 
-  How many scams might be under threat of being scuppered ?
-  About two dozen were mentioned in the debate 
-  About half the number we currently operating at the moment
-  My God this is a disaster
-  Greg reckons this Bill will mark the beginning of the end of these which
   of course he means us
-  The bastard
-  And what's worse he wants the contract motorists enter into with us to be reasonable
-  Ahhhh ......that's awful
-  Ahhhh ......that's obscene 
-  Involving a consistent process,,,, with poor signage, unresonable terms , exorbitant 
   parking charges, aggressive demands for payment....all to be consigned to the past
-  Ahhhh.......what god damn planet is this man on
-  Yes....I too feel your acute pain...... but all is not lost
-  Why's that ?
-  We have a valuable which is in short which is 
    ideally located and desperately sought after by motorists who cannot find enough parking
    spaces on the street . In short we have a captive market which enables us to exploit 
    motorists to the full
-  Yes......I see where you're coming from.......since demand greatly exceeds supply .....we
    can damn well charge what we like
-   Which we certainly will .....say £5 an hour for a starters 
-   And in the event motorists stay away..... screaming shopkeepers will be up in arms and 
    therefore more than happy to subsidise any reduction we then introduce to our parking
    fees ........desperate to see their precious customers return
-   A win-win situation
-   Yes.....because it is a racing cert that this Bill will not include any provisions concerning 
    pricing policies or prescribed tariffs 
-   Praise the Lord for that