Monday, 26 March 2018

NIGHTMARE PARKING SERVICES v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)

Bigot has just bought himself a new very expensive top-of-the-range car.  This was his pride and joy. However he had to spend well over £4000 on an urgent respray , following an earlier visit to the site , when the car had got badly scratched. This time he was determined not to suffer the same fate. The solution was simple : take up 4 parking spaces. Not surprising surveillance photos captured this alleged violation and so came the inevitable PCN. 



Counsel for the plaintiff  (CP) : Your honour.....I have photographic evidence here of this outrageous bit of parking. Four bays this selfish man used up.....severely limiting the opportunities for other motorists to park up. Behaviour like this needs to be stopped.....my client has every right to issue Bigot with this £100 PCN .....and justice demands that the money should be paid
B-J : Hold on here......just look at the photo .....the bays are no narrow it is impossible when the car park is full to open any door without banging it into the vehicle next to yours . 
CP : Look at the size of this man your Honour.......he's far too fat to slide in and out of a parked car. These bays are wide enough to cater for people of normal height and weight
B-J : Well , I have a right to protect my car from criminal and/or accidental damage. The bays are deliberately designed to be small for obvious reasons. Firstly , more bays equal more revenue potential. Narrow bays enable vast sums of money to be made by issuing PCNs for double parking..... a violation which is not always the fault of the driver.
CP : But you used up four bays 
B-J : That's because the bays aren't long enough either. OK for Minis perhaps but not for cars like mine
CP : I'm sorry..... but these excuses wont wash......you used up 4 bays.... but only purchased one ticket
B-J:  Ah.... but I paid for all four bays
CP : No you didn't ...... one ticket entiles you to use one bay only 
B-J :  Sorry to correct you here......I believe your AVRC records show I stayed for one hour 
CP :  Yes....that's correct
B-J:  Well , I had a choice .......either I bought 4 one-hour tickets .....or just one 4-hour ticket.
Expediency suggested the latter.....so either way I used up just 4 hours of bay time ....and  please note...... I paid for that time in full
Judge : How clever of you Bigot......your logic and your maths cannot be questioned.....and as a classic car driver myself I fully recognise and understand your concern over your pride and joy. Judgement it seems must go in favour of the defendant. Case dismissed......
CP :  What......how can that be right ?
Judge : Your client was not out of pocket. No loss had been incurred by Bigot's inventive solution to his problem. So why not tell Nightmare Parking Services to provide bigger and safer bays to cater for all motorists .............especially those who have bought shiny new expensive cars......... making sure that cases like this will never crop up again

No comments: