BRIDGE PLAYERS : THE CLASSIC STEREOTYPES……....( Article by Dr. John )

As we all know , this topic has been brilliantly covered by many other authors in a variety of ways. Victor Mollo’s animal characters being one of the most definitive and comical attempts to depict stereotypes by their behavioural characteristics at the table.

However , I intend to go beyond what happens at the table by attempting to stereo-type players by their status , bridge abilities , attitudes , values and beliefs .

1. The Easter Bunnies : Extremely weak players who always hand out to the better pairs gift after gift of fortuitous tops
2. The League of Women :  An active group of lady members who set out to impose their authority on men , in keeping with what they have achieved in their marriages , as evidenced by their subservient hen pecked husbands
3. The Establishment : Top players in the club who never bother with the run-of-the-mill weekly duplicates , only turning up to play in the club's first choice teams in the top divisions of local and regional leagues . Their selection is automatically established by historical precedent.
4. The Prima Donnas : Rather prickly , over-sensitive, and highly volatile players , who completely lose it whenever anyone dares to challenge or confront them
5. The Octogenarians : who invariably represent 40 % of the total membership of most bridge clubs
6. The Ostriches : The majority of the members who bury their heads in the sand in order to avoid being embroiled in club politics and affairs, and always leaving others to do the work
7. The Autocrats :  Members who set out to become officers of the club , thereby gaining permanent residency on the committee . This long standing inner circle can then run the club exactly the way they want to , making all the important decisions in quiet corridors and dark corners of the club house
8. The Autistics : The large proportion of men who are well and truly on the autistic spectrum , as evidenced by their obsessive routine habits , lack of empathy and awareness of others , possessing of course all the social skills one would expect of a mechanical robot
9. The Individualists :  All those players who share a whole load of very common and mundane characteristics , with each believing that he/she is completely different from the rest
10. The Riff  Raff : Unsophisticated , ill-mannered , badly dressed members of the club , who clearly lack breeding and a public school education