TWO SMART-ARSE BIDDERS ARE CONFRONTED BY A TOTALLY CONFUSED AND BEMUSED BIGOT.........
- So what do you call this ludicrous bidding system of yours ?
- The Foggy Unusual Club .......FUC for short
- Is it licensed ?
- Of course it is....the ACBL sanction anything these days.....not wishing to upset the top
rank players from devising specially complex and baffling systems to combat and retaliate
against the real smart-arses...... who were seeking to put one over them with theirs
- So tell me then.... what does your 1C opener say about the hand ?
- In a nutshell..... it can be anything ........ a weak or strong hand......but not necessarily
- And what about your responses ?
- All bids at the lower levels are completely artificial......and alertable......since the auction
will be a series of enquiry bids and stepping stone answer bids outlining short suits and
high card strength, the final contract can only be decided upon at the very end
- Oh....so how do you know what contract you need to be in having never bid your natural
suits and HCPs
- By a process of suit eliminations , logical deduction and intuitive reasoning
- That fine for you but how the hell do opponents like me ever get to work out your hands
- You're not meant to. Even if you asked questions about the alerts , the lengthy and highly
convoluted answers will either blow your mind , or put you off from ever asking again
- Well , I suppose I could look at your system card.... which thank God only appears to be
a 2-sided document
- You could..... but It wont do you much good unless you read and fully understand the 14
sides of supplementary notes that goes with it
- Christ almighty......this unusual system of yours leaves me in a complete fog
- That's its primary aim alright ......to fuc the opposition good and proper