Tuesday, 1 June 2010

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY...............................
  • Partner : a player you once thought was on your side
  • Rag : a flimsy bit of cloth you should never waft under the noses of bullish opponents, especially if it's red
  • The Blue Club : a rather seedy dive in the red light district of Sheffield, where trick-seeking bridge players often visit late at night
  • Sponsor : a rich person who hires top class players as partners, in order to gain a jump on others in scaling up the masterpoint rankings ladder
  • x : a symbol which marks the spot on a map, where you recently finished off and buried your last partner
  • Field : the ideal place in which to bury the bodies of ex-partners
  • 10 to 3 : the exact time you can always guarantee that some bird-brained, late arrivals will turn up to the tournament, which was scheduled to start at 2
  • Intro : a musical fanfare that strikes up the moment a celebrity player enters the bridge arena
  • Moving seat : a item of furniture which travels through the air at speed, following the conclusion of a rather bitter and acrimonious argument

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