( Recommendations by Bigot-Johnson , many of which are based on Charles Dickens' wonderful description of Miss Havisham's house in his novel , Great Expectations )
- Board up all the windows to stop natural light entering the building
- Leave doors open to allow stray dogs and cats to wander freely in and out
- Paint luminous arrows on the floor to help guide them from room to room
- Scatter slippers and socks all around the landing
- Leave piles of unopened letters on a table by the front door
- Keep the central heating system permanently switched off no matter what the weather conditions outside
- Dampen many of the seat cushions with water spray
- Regularly blast large amounts of dust onto floors, shelves and furniture
- If finances allow, restore the decor to that of the 1950's
- Immerse sets of false teeth in glasses of water, placing them on all toilet room shelves
- Under no circumstances whatsoever must cobwebs or dead flies be removed
- Encourage members to play while still wearing their hats and coats
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